This chapter is broken. Please report this on discord.
Huh?! What’cha looking at, didn’t I tell ya that there’s nothing to see here?! o(≧口≦)o
Hmph, maybe there’s one in the next chapter!
William was walking alone in the capital of Arcadia, Arcus. He had no particular thoughts, just wandering around the open-air market. It was a rare idle time for William, who did not like wasting time. He had too many things to think about, too many tasks to accomplish, but his mind was temporarily not working at all.
'Kyle’s working at the arena, Favela’s in trouble with the guild members. What a mess... Besides, the other day—'
"You may not like to hear this, but that's not something you can learn from someone else. Those who can do it, can do it, and those who can't, will never be able to. It's a matter of talent, or sense, or something like that."
"...Are you saying I don't have any talent?"
"I didn't say that. On the contrary, I think you have too much. Normally, if you can perceive it, you should be able to use it right away. Well, maybe use is not the right word."
"I don't get it. Explain it to me clearly."
"That's impossible. You don't know everything about me. And vice versa."
"...Stingy."
"Sorry. Well, if I were to give you one piece of advice... it would be to accept yourself. ...No, forget it. That's too cruel for you."
"I don't understand."
William was remembering the conversation he had with Kyle the other day. He still couldn't grasp anything, and it left a lump in his mind.
"Ah, I wish I could get stronger quickly."
It was a kind of deadlock for William, for the first time in a sense. He had been at the bottom many times, but he could overcome anything by thinking and working hard. If he lacked education, he would get into an environment where he could acquire it, if he was thin, he would eat nutritious food, train properly, acquire knowledge, and practice. That was enough.
"What should I do from now on?"
He couldn't stay in the Taylor house forever. Even if he couldn't afford a house, he should consider renting one. If he was a foreigner, he would fit in the slums and the rent would be cheap.
‘No, there might be some small conflicts, and I'm staying at an inn now... but wouldn't that be more expensive in the end? Maybe I should just go for a cheap shack... I'm not a slave, after all, I have a reputation—’
He couldn't come up with an answer even for such a simple thing, because his head wasn't working.
'What reputation? That's ridiculous. I'm really losing it. I need to cool down, or I don't know what kind of mistake I'll make.'
William scratched his head. He had always been quick-witted, which was his strength. But now his strength was dead. He wanted to do something about it, but his thoughts always went back to "that". The inexplicable difference in power, and the ugly face of himself reflected in his eyes.
'Damn it, forget it now! There are plenty of things to think about!'
But it wouldn't leave his head.
William was suffering.
"You're making trouble, miss. You're making unreasonable complaints about the product... If you want it cheaper, just say so honestly."
"No, that, um..."
"How are you going to take responsibility if you ruin our reputation?"
William looked up. There was a crowd in front of him. In the center was a stall that dealt with cloth. Probably a dispute with a customer. Normally, William wouldn't stick his nose in. But—
"What's going on?"
William was irritated.
"Ah, this customer here. She complained about our product. She said this cloth isn’t from Netherks. This beautiful silk fabric, if it's not from Netherks, where is it from then, huh, brother?"
William walked up to the stall owner. He glanced at the customer who complained about the cloth, but she was looking down and he couldn't see her face. William wasn't interested either.
He was just venting his stress.
"I see, it's a beautiful fabric. May I touch it a little?"
The stall owner hesitated for a moment. At that moment, William guessed who was at fault.
"Don't worry, I'm not doubting you. I don't know anything about fabrics. I just want to touch something beautiful and valuable."
"Oh, oh, of course, go ahead."
All he had to do was expose this guy and vent his stress.
"I see, this is good fabric. By the way, stall owner, what type of weave is this? I’m just asking for reference."
At that moment, the stall owner's face changed. The customer behind him who had complained also reacted with a twitch.
"What the hell does that matter? You have nothing to do with this. Just put it down and get out of here!"
William smiled. He looked like a good young man at first glance, but—
"Netherks’ fabric is made out of satin, saddle weave. This cloth is also satin, but it's a plain weave. I'm not going to argue about which is better or worse here, but I have to say that the selling point of Netherks is a lie."
Once peeled, it was full of dark emotions. A devilish smile.
The stall owner turned pale.
"Y-you said you don't know anything about cloth..."
"Yes, I don't. I don't know anything about good or bad. I just have knowledge. Netherks’ fabric is made out of satin and the type of weave is saddle, and the fabric produced in the northwest of Arcus is plain weave. The market price is... twice as different for the same silk fabric. I don't need to tell you which one is higher, do I?"
The stall owner was speechless. The crowd around him turned their eyes on him with hostility. He wouldn't be able to do business here anymore.
"Well, plain weave is durable and the product itself is good, I think. I'm an amateur, though."
William turned his back on the stall and walked away. He glanced at the stall owner who had fallen to his knees, and gave himself over to the feeling of satisfying his dark desire.
‘Ah, that felt good.’
His thoughts were working a little better than before. He defeated and kicked down others, and devoured a part of their lives. He reaffirmed the pleasure of winning, and William was slightly in a good mood.
'But how did these lower-class people who come to this open-air market manage to discern the authenticity?'
Satin and plain-woven silk fabrics differ in various ways, but they are both silk fabrics nonetheless. It would be a problem if they were sold at specialty stores that the first-class citizens visit, but it would be surprising for anyone to notice the difference between silk fabrics at the open-air market that is frequented by second-class, third-class, and even non-citizens.
'It's wrong to point it out in the first place. There's no way there are any high-quality products here'
There might be some fakes for luring customers, but there's no chance of finding any high-quality products at this kind of open-air market. To point it out deliberately means they have no sense of the situation. They deserve to be despised by the shopkeeper.
"...Well, I've cleared my head a bit, so shall we go and look for some properties?"
William stretched a bit and enhanced his slightly refreshed mood.
'Uh…'
'Maybe I should rent a room first. Let's do what I can.'
"Ah, uh…"
William's sleeve twitched.
"Hm?"
William's gaze followed the moving cuff, then the slender and beautiful finger that grasped it, the delicate arm, and finally reached a person. At that moment—
"What?!"
William's face tensed up.
"Uh, thank you for helping me earlier…"
The one who spoke in a small and muffled voice was Rutgard von Taylor. She was the daughter of Roland von Taylor and the sister of Carl von Taylor, who was working in the army with William at the moment.
"N-no. I just told the truth. Yeah…"
William made a clumsy smile and twitched his cheeks. He was caught off guard and couldn't control himself in a different way than before.
'Damn, I was seen in a bad place. No, rather than seen, this girl was the one who complained in the first place. I was too careless'
William looked at Rutgard as politely as possible. He looked at her again and felt stunned by her lack of aura. She was a beauty, but she didn't have any presence or atmosphere as a person. She would be lost in the crowd in an instant.
'What are the odds of encountering a noble, and a familiar one at that, in a big city like Arcus?! And in this backwater open-air market of all places! Damn it!'
He felt like cursing inwardly.
"Uh, I heard you say something about looking for properties earlier?"
It was sudden that she appeared, and so was her question.
"Y-yes. I can't rely on the Taylor family forever, and since I've become a regular soldier and can receive a salary with Carl, I thought I should look for a place to live soon"
As he listened to her, Rutgard's expression visibly darkened. Seeing that, William felt anxious that he had said something careless.
"It's not a bother… no one in the house thinks so, probably"
A faint end of the sentence. Her voice was so small that he could barely hear it.
"A-and, you should save your money until you have some leeway. You should convert it into land or things when you have leeway, but, I, I don't think you need to hurry now, yeah…"
"No, but..."
“...”
Rutgard kept silent and held onto his sleeve. William couldn't understand what made her do this. He couldn't even grasp the intention of her action.
"S-so, what are you doing in this place, Rutgard?"
William tried to break this mysterious situation by bringing up a topic he wasn't particularly interested in. Rutgard raised her face slightly.
"...Shopping. Well, our house runs a group of fashion-related businesses, and I can do some sewing and designing. A friend asked me to coordinate a party outfit for her, so I was shopping for that. I haven't bought any fabric yet, though."
Judging from the act of buying fabric, Rutgard probably intended to make the clothes from scratch. There was a difference in meaning between picking out clothes and making clothes. He guessed that the friend had asked for the former. But Rutgard had decided on the latter and had come to this place alone, even though she was a noble's daughter.
By the way, this guess turned out to be completely wrong later on. It's a story for another time, though.
'She's too stupid…'
William felt like holding his head. Rutgard was detached from the world in a different dimension from the noble lady he imagined. He was very bad at dealing with people like this. He couldn't predict or calculate them—
'And she still won't let go of my sleeve. I don't get it.'
At this rate, they would just stay here until the sun set. He had to think of a way to make Rutgard move, to make her let go of his finger. The answer he came up with was,
"About your shopping, if I'm not bothering, may I join you?"
Compromise. He decided to put everything aside and go along with her errand. He might have a chance to escape in the meantime, he thought, or rather compromised.
"Y-You're not. I'm very G-Grateful…"
Rutgard smiled softly. She still firmly held his sleeve, which was endearing.
"Then let's go. By the way, that......isn't it hard to walk?"
He implied that she should let go of his finger, but…
"Is it?"
She didn't seem to get it at all.
The strange shopping trip of the young man who led the way and the girl who held his sleeve and looked down began.
༺༻
The shopping was extensive. Rutgard seemed to intend to do everything herself except for metalwork. She bought several kinds of cloth, as well as thread and stones that could be used for hair ornaments. The luggage increased, and when it became too much for a noble's daughter to carry, William gave up on escaping and devoted himself to carrying the baggage.
"That's quite a lot. Are you also going to attend the party, Lady Rutgard?"
William was carrying a large load by himself. Rutgard had offered to share the load several times, but he had refused. He had his reputation and pride as a man.
"No, I declined the invitation. I'm not very good at parties or appearing in public... I think I should go out soon, but I can't seem to."
If that was the case, the amount of luggage was strange. Rutgard noticed William's dubious look and added.
"I'm planning to make more than one outfit and let her choose."
Rutgard said it casually, but William could only smile wryly at the amount of work involved. He didn't know how important a friend she was, but she was putting too much time and effort into it. If this was for free, he would be seriously stupid.
"Ah, can I look over there too?"
Rutgard walked over to a mask shop.
'Creepy. And the party was a masquerade, huh?'
There were many masks hanging on the stall, and the abyss peered out from the gaps in their eyes and mouths. Masks were something alien to William, he had never worn them or wanted to wear them.
"Masks are made of various materials, such as wood carving, pottery, or metal. It's hard to process other materials from scratch, so I want to buy something and then modify it."
What William had been thinking since earlier was that Rutgard, who was usually quiet and had a small voice, became a little more talkative about fashion-related things. She seemed to really like this kind of thing.
"Masks, huh."
While Rutgard was engrossed in choosing masks, William was bored and looked at the masks. As Rutgard had said, there were various materials to be seen. And they all had a creepy aura about them.
'Something to hide your face. You can't read their expressions, and you don't have to be pretentious. It's convenient, I guess.'
But putting on a mask means you have something to hide.
'I don't need it. I don't need to create a suspicious element.'
William was convinced of his conclusion and looked away from the masks.
The sky was heavy with clouds. The surrounding people were restless, wondering if it would rain. Some of the stalls without roofs were closing up early.
Drip. A raindrop hit William's cheek. It seemed to be starting to rain.
"Masks are both a way of hiding yourself and a way of reflecting on your inner self."
William turned his gaze to Rutgard, who had started talking. He couldn't see Rutgard's expression, who had turned her back on him.
"You put a mask between you and the world. That thin layer of boundary. But by doing so, you can see yourself objectively and gain a third-person perspective. I think masks exist for the sake of recognizing your own existence."
In William's mind, he saw his own image running wild, his face distorted and ugly.
The rain intensified.
"Even I don't understand myself. I don't know who I am, and you probably don't know who you are. I hope it’ll help you with your confusion."
Rutgard turned around. She had a radiant smile that made him wonder where she had been hiding it until now. William swallowed. He saw a smile he had never seen before on Rutgard, whom he thought he had understood—
"Here you go. I think it’ll suit you."
What Rutgard handed him was a white mask. The mask that covered his eyes had a unique shape. It looked like a knight's helmet at first glance, but it had a creepy whiteness and shape that resembled a skull. The red lines that adorned the mask as if to color it reminded him of the flames of the battlefield, the abundant flesh and blood.
"This is for me?"
"Yes, it’s for you. It's a thank you for accompanying me shopping today."
To an ordinary person, this mask would make them think of a knight. It had both beauty and strength, and it was worthy of being worn by a knight.
But the impression of the mask that William saw was completely different. The king of the dead, the king who ruled over the spirits of the dead, it was like a mirror of "himself". He felt a chill run down his spine. Had there ever been anything that suited him so well?
The rain got stronger. Most of the stalls had hurriedly closed up, and the mask shop that had been in front of him had disappeared. The only ones standing in this place were two wet people.
William realized that he had put on the mask he had received. In his chest, the ruby that he had hidden inside his clothes swayed. Both of them were gifts from Rutgard. And both of them suited the man named William. Both his appearance and his inner self.
His cold thoughts returned. He was able to see himself more clearly and objectively by being isolated from the outside world by half a sheet. He could feel the coldness of the rain more sharply than usual. His antennae felt the touch of the raindrops, his sense of smell smelled the rainy weather, his hearing heard the sound of the raindrops hitting the ground, his taste tasted the rain that seeped out—
And his vision saw the girl who was wet with rain in front of him.
"Please be careful of my father."
Rutgard spoke to William, who was wearing a mask.
"My father is a person who can do anything for the sake of the house. The Taylor house has amassed a lot of wealth in his generation. He has more wealth than any other baron or viscount. But my father, Roland von Taylor, isn’t satisfied with anything. No matter how much money he has, he is still a nouveau riche. What he really wants is status. He says that it’s necessary to be truly recognized in this country."
William's impression of Rutgard had changed greatly. She was no longer a naive girl, quiet and shy, and a fool who couldn't read the mood. All of that was shattered.
"To my father, people are either useful or they aren’t. Me and my brother Einhart were the former, while my brother Carl was the latter. We may seem loved on the surface, but none of us have ever been held to high expectations or been loved, except for Einhart.
“Einhart, who understood that, rebelled and pursued the path of a scholar. My father gladly agreed to that… Because he had already lost interest in my brother who made that decision. I think I was also given up on early. As a noble's daughter, I lack charm, he said. It would be impossible to marry me into a high-ranking house, he said."
The content of the story was miserable, but there was no dark atmosphere on Rutgard's face. Rather, she seemed to be happy. He felt that.
"But when he learned of your existence, he changed the price tag of my brother Carl. He thought that with your assistance, he could achieve military exploits, and raise the status of the Taylor house. He has high expectations of you. That's why I want you to be careful. He’s wary of you whilst judging you as a useful person. After he uses you to get the status he wants, what will he do with you? How will he judge you?"
Rutgard was vague, but the answer was obvious. The seats of the "top" were fixed. To get to the "top", the Taylor house had to get rid of the ones sitting on the seats. And they had to eliminate the ones who were going to sit on them. It was hard to imagine that the Taylor house would leave William alone after they sat on that seat.
"I'll keep that in mind."
He didn't know why Rutgard had told him such a thing. Maybe it was a trap of Roland. But he had to remember it. Roland von Taylor was a more troublesome existence than William had thought.
"By the way, why are you telling me this now?"
To William's question, Rutgard showed a different smile from before, that of an innocent girl.
"It's a thank you for helping me."
She answered with a smile. He felt a slight sense of déjà vu on her face, but he didn't remember anything.
"Oh, we're both soaked. Let's go home, shall we?"
"Yes, let's do that."
Rutgard gripped William's sleeve tightly. He had lost the discomfort and displeasure of that act before he knew it. And he had been forced to accept the trouble of the Taylor house. William smiled wryly under his mask.
'I see, this is convenient.'
William liked this mask and the girl named Rutgard more than he expected.
'Well, how should I use them?'
The vulgar expression that William was showing now was hidden by the mask. As long as he was careful with his mouth, no one would notice. William had acquired two weapons. The mask and Rutgard. He had no intention of trusting them, but they had value.
༺༻
The two of them, who had returned to the Taylor house soaked, were warmly welcomed by the servants. They wiped their wet bodies with fluffy towels and warmed themselves in front of the blazing fireplace. They had a cup of warm stew. And then they parted.
One went to her room to make clothes for her friend.
The other went to the borrowed room.
"Hey, William. Can I talk to you for a bit?"
"Yes, of course."
William's rented room. Outside the door, Roland von Taylor was standing. He had no intention of entering the room, and leaned against the door.
"Thank you for helping Rutgard today. I appreciate it."
"No, it's only natural considering the favor you've done for me."
"Ahaha, is that so?"
"Yes."
A silence fell between the two. In this case, one should not open one's mouth carelessly. Silence is golden. The "weaker" side should not speak first.
"Rutgard is smart, isn't she? She would have been useful if she were a boy, huh?"
Roland's atmosphere suddenly changed.
"I can guess most of what she said. And I have no intention of denying it. You use the Taylor house. The Taylor house uses you. It's a very clear win-win. A wonderful honeymoon. Let's leave our personalities aside for now. This is business. And as long as this doesn't collapse, I have "expectations" for you. I want you to live up to them."
Roland, who was gentle and kind, was also like this when he peeled off a layer. There was no need to hide it once he knew. The exposed Roland was bigger and more twisted than William had imagined.
"I'll keep that in mind."
William had no choice but to answer that. In many ways, he couldn't win now. He didn't have to start a fight he couldn't win. He wouldn't lose if he didn't fight.
William traced his mask. He was surprisingly calm and able to suppress his desires and avoid a fight he couldn't win. He was able to judge the situation calmly and objectively. His cold thoughts, which had been crazy lately, had returned without him knowing.
'Someday I'll win. If I win in the end, I win.'
William showed a dark smile. And on the other side of the door, Roland probably shared the same expression. A relationship where they ate away at each other's benefits.
Which one will eat the other in the end?
༺༻
The first night he got the mask, William had a dream.
A little boy with black hair was crying, hugging his knees. Around him were a crowd of dead souls who threw curses at him and tried to strangle him with their hands. Hatred swelled up and burned his body. In the midst of eternal malice, the boy just cried in fear.
Only one, only one dead soul protected him.
"It's okay, you're not bad. It's not your fault."
The maiden who spoke to him kindly. She had the same hair as the boy, and the same eyes as the boy.
"Really? It's not my fault?"
The dead soul smiled and nodded. There were shouts of anger from around. The voices of resentment swelled and tried to crush them, but the black-haired maiden protected the boy from everything.
William, who wore a mask, just watched the scene. It looked like a beautiful love scene at first glance, but―
"...Gilly"
—To William Livius, to Al, which scene was salvation? Which scene was appropriate for him? Dead souls or the maiden? Destruction or salvation? Malice or love?
"Don't mess with me!"
William reached out his hand. The black-haired maiden looked at it and smiled. The dead souls around noticed it and rushed at William instead of the boy.
"Ugh! I, I am!"
William was swallowed by the wave of dead souls. At the last moment, when he was about to lose consciousness, the black-haired maiden hugged him. She protected William like the boy from the irresistible crowd of malice, from the crowd of hatred that burned his body.
"..."
The maiden didn't say anything. She didn't say any words to soothe the boy. He wanted her to say something, he wanted to talk to her, but there were no words from the maiden's mouth to William. There was only a smile.
"Sis!"
At that moment, William's world turned upside down.
"Hah, hah, hah, hah…"
A nightmare. A strange dream that he didn't even know if it was a nightmare or not.
When William woke up, his whole body was sweaty and his face in the mirror was too ugly.
"Ah."
William cleared his throat. He didn't understand what had happened, what it meant, or anything. He only felt a complex mix of discomfort and irresistible happiness.
"...What a terrible face."
William reached for his mask. He couldn't show this face to anyone. It was not good for him to play William Livius.
"..."
William looked at the world through his mask. His thoughts returned to normal with the limited vision, the darkness that bordered it, and the thin layer that separated him from the outside world.
"Phew…"
William regained his composure. He had to do his daily routine. He got up from his heavy seat and stood up.
"Really, I’ve been losing it lately."
William was disgusted by his own instability, shook his head, and left his room to do his daily training.
He didn't know that from now on, he would have to live with this nightmare forever.