Ch. 8 - Ayaka, Who Wants to Bear It Alone

The little girl with a pink bob and a scowling face in the photograph—that wooden-framed snapshot—was Ayaka herself. And in that photo, she was pictured alongside her brother, Harutaki. It was the only photograph since her birth that included him, and the only one the Hoshikawa family could truly call a family portrait.

“Really…”

She looked at the frozen scene captured in the photo, so unlike most conventional family portraits, and couldn’t help but let a faint smile tug at her lips.

It was from a winter holiday eight years ago. Harutaki had wanted to go skiing, so the whole family had boarded the Shinkansen for a trip to Hokkaido.

The young boy’s face was flushed, a mixture of cold and exertion, and he pouted in frustration. Clinging to their mother’s arm, he buried his head into her ample chest with a tiny whine.

The pink-haired little girl in the photo—Ayaka herself—couldn’t stand such behavior. Frowning, she tugged at his pants, trying to pull him down from their mother’s embrace.

She must have been scolding him for giving their mother trouble. Even as the eldest brother, he was hardly a model of reliability, while she herself had assumed the role of the “little adult.”

Ayaka thought to herself.

Looking more closely, she noticed Chiaki, the little sister she had been holding, subtly tugging at her clothes. Perhaps she had been trying to caution her not to scold their brother, who was clinging to their mother.

Even back then, Chiaki had been clearly fond of Harutaki.

Even after he grew into a weird, perverted siscon shut-in, Chiaki never once showed disdain…

As for the youngest, Fuyuno…

Seeing Fuyuno perched on their father’s back, pointing and laughing at the sulking Harutaki, Ayaka couldn’t help but chuckle.

The one who always demanded Dad carry her around had the audacity to tease someone else.

Thinking that, she felt a sudden urge to scold the photographer: Why choose this exact moment to take a picture?

Or, why did Mom and Dad insist on developing this particular photo as a keepsake?

Though it was far from a “perfect” family portrait, every time Ayaka saw it, the memory of her family’s happy times came flooding back.

Ever since their parents were transferred to jobs in another city, the family had seen little of each other. That trip to Hokkaido might never happen again.

Eight years ago…

Harutaki was still a cute, lively, playful boy.

Chiaki was a clingy little sister who laughed and played alongside him.

Fuyuno was sweet, like extra-sugary bubble tea, lovable and cheerful.

But over time, the family slowly drifted apart.

Ayaka took a small bite of the strawberry cream cake she had saved from earlier. Even the sweetness of syrup-soaked strawberries and whipped cream couldn’t dull the bitter-sour ache of nostalgia.

Harutaki, for reasons unknown and at some unknown point in time, had changed. He no longer went out to play, no longer interacted with friends—he just shut himself in his room, staring at flickering screens.

Chiaki, after repeatedly asking her brother to take her out and being ignored or rejected, gradually became withdrawn and shy.

Fuyuno bounced around the house alone, with Mom and Dad gone, leaving Ayaka to enforce strict rules…

Had she been too harsh on Fuyuno?

Thinking of Fuyuno’s increasingly rebellious, little-demon personality, Ayaka reflected on her own actions.

She had only wanted, like their mother, to prevent Fuyuno from falling into the same patterns of idleness as Harutaki and Chiaki while their parents were away.

But her strictness had backfired. And her constant attention and care for Harutaki—the consequences of that—now filled her with regret.

Her meticulous care for a withdrawn Harutaki had been tinged with a little admiration… but she had liked the sweet, lively Harutaki, not the greasy, creepy, siscon shut-in in the small room.

A little kindness and concern had been misread as love, leading him to indulge in sis-themed games and anime…

Yesterday, she had tried to wake him up. No matter how hard she tried, he wouldn’t wake. She even stepped on something hard in frustration. At that moment, Ayaka felt a twinge of hopelessness.

Was her brother beyond saving?

Just as she resolved to give up entirely on “fixing” him, he unexpectedly apologized. A completely new side of him had emerged.

Holding onto the hope of trying again, Ayaka resolutely went to wake him the next morning—though only from outside the door.

When she confirmed that his tone, choice of words, and attitude were entirely different from before, her feelings were both complex and joyful. Like pairing a bitter espresso with a sweet macaron—both were hard to swallow alone, but together, they achieved a delicate balance.

Was it some urban legend, a ghost possession?

Or had he suddenly realized something, a moment of enlightenment?

Her once-dark, perverted, siscon brother had become clean, stylish, humorous, and engaging. Gone was the one who killed every conversation and froze the atmosphere.

Although she really didn’t want to face it, she had to admit one fact—sudden misfortune alone wouldn’t be enough to completely change a person like this.

Moreover, the night before, that same dark, perverted brother had been watching… questionable content. No sudden enlightenment could have occurred!

Most importantly, Ayaka saw clearly.

Harutaki’s eyes no longer held forbidden lust or perverted curiosity. They were the eyes of a young man toward a younger girl, affectionate and protective in a genuine way.

The long-buried feelings of admiration and affection she had once held for her brother were now being unearthed again, blossoming in the vibrant early spring.

This was fine. It was enough…

The fork scraped the plate with a sharp squeak, jolting her from her reverie.

Her brother was fine now.

The strawberry cream cake was delicious.

That was enough.

She looked once more at the family portrait and made a quiet vow—

This was something she alone would bear. Their parents, Chiaki and Fuyuno, only needed to believe that her brother had turned over a new leaf…

But if he ever did anything excessive toward Chiaki or Fuyuno…

Ayaka’s mind flashed back to Fuyuno’s earlier joking comments.

Chiaki was already withdrawn; she couldn’t be hurt further.

Fuyuno was still small, almost indistinguishable from an ordinary elementary schooler.

If… if anything happened, she would shoulder it all herself.

“Then I’ll just buy a few extra sets of underwear.” 

She scraped the remaining cream off the plate, and with her pink tongue glistening in the light, licked it clean. Same cream, but now too sweet for her.

From now on, she would care more for Chiaki and be just a little gentler with Fuyuno.

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