Ch. 95 - Unlocking a New Squatting Position
It's Perfectly Normal for my Slime to beat up a Dragon, Right?This chapter is broken. Please report this on discord.
This chapter is broken. Please report this on discord.
September 1st.
National disaster day for students everywhere—the catastrophe of the new school year had arrived!
Chen Shu felt weak all over. He couldn't even muster any interest in eating.
"Son, what's wrong? Caught a cold?"
Chen Shu's face was full of melancholy. He sighed. "It's nothing! I just need to tough it out."
"That's the spirit. Oh, by the way—did you pack your homework?"
"Can't... tough it out anymore..." Chen Shu instantly collapsed onto the sofa like he'd come down with something.
Dad, why'd you have to bring that up?
His father, Chen Ping, patted him on the shoulder. "Alright! Buck up! Today is school, not a funeral."
"Uh... I'd rather go to a funeral."
"Get your stuff together! Out the door!"
Chen Shu dragged himself up, looking utterly dejected, and rode his bike to school with his bag on his back.
Nanjiang Second High was absolutely bustling at this hour—gongs and drums metaphorically blaring, a sea of people everywhere.
Many parents had personally come to drop off their children. The adults wore smiles on their faces, while the students looked miserable, like they'd been constipated for half a month.
Chen Shu followed the crowd and walked into the school.
"Brother Pi!"
A student from the regular class called out loudly.
"Hey there!" Chen Shu smiled and nodded. He'd wanted to keep a low profile, but unfortunately his reputation wouldn't allow it.
"Brother Pi!"
"Hello, Brother Pi!"
"Brother Pi! I'm Lu Shuang from Beast Taming Class Five. Nice to meet you!"
"Hello everyone, hello!"
Chen Shu walked with his hands behind his back, suddenly feeling refreshed and invigorated. Even the gloom of returning to school had largely dissipated.
When did I become so respected?
What Chen Shu didn't know was that the school had already published the special training class roster.
Twentieth place in the grade—Chen Shu from Beast Taming Class Five!
For the students in Class Five, he was a miracle. He'd arrived in their class just a month ago and had already made it into the special training class, becoming a top student.
But for all the students in the regular classes, he was nothing short of a legend.
Chen Shu already had a huge reputation in the regular classes. Now that he'd become a genius among the beast taming students, he'd won a moral victory for all the regular students.
After all, beast taming students usually looked down on regular students.
"What's going on at this school? It's like a gang."
"That student doesn't look like a good person. Is this what Nanjiang Second High is like?"
"I think so too. Acting like some kind of mob boss."
In an instant, quite a few parents turned to look, murmuring among themselves, clearly worried about Nanjiang Second High's academic atmosphere.
Li Yuan's face darkened immediately at the school gate. This little punk was causing trouble on day one.
Li Yuan's expression turned stern as he barked: "Chen Shu! Get over here!"
Chen Shu, who had been greeting his fellow students, immediately looked over and spotted the dark storm that was Li Yuan at the gate.
"Everyone head back to your classrooms."
Chen Shu waved his hand, signaling for the others to go first, then walked over to Li Yuan.
"What the hell are you doing? Ruining the school's reputation on the first day of class, is that it?"
"What? Mr. Li, what did I do?"
Chen Shu looked aggrieved. I was just saying hi to some classmates. What's wrong with that?
Li Yuan scolded him sternly: "Cut the crap. Acting like some kind of gang boss—what are the parents supposed to think? Get to the special training classroom!"
Chen Shu let out an "oh," and at that moment, options appeared before his eyes.
---
【Option 1】: Return to the classroom obediently.
Completion Reward: Small amount of Beast Taming Power【Option 2】: Spread your hands and say, "What do you mean 'acting like' a gang boss? I AM one!"
Completion Reward: Fearless Potion【Option 3】: Loudly announce to the parents: "Anyone at Nanjiang Second High can come to me. First day of school—protection fees 10% off!"
Completion Reward: Golden Slime resistance +10%---
Chen Shu froze for a moment. He hadn't expected to trigger an option on the first day of school. Looked like today wasn't going to be so bad after all.
He turned around to face the parents and announced loudly: "Attention, parents! If anyone's kid gets bullied, come find me. First day of school—protection fees 10% off!"
The moment he finished speaking, Chen Shu immediately took off running. Fast as hell.
"Chen Pi, you little shit! I'll break your legs!"
Li Yuan's face went black, but it was already too late. Parents were swarming forward with questions.
He could only force a smile and explain: "That kid's just a bit of a prankster. He's just messing around..."
Chen Shu sprinted the whole way, shouting about how thrilling it was. Testing the boundaries of death on the first day actually got him a little excited.
Just as he was about to reach the classroom door, Chen Shu felt a bit hesitant. He decided to hit the bathroom first and relax a little.
He went into one of the middle stalls and started playing on his phone.
Before long, a voice came from the stall on his right.
"Bro, got any toilet paper? Emergency here. Help me out."
As he spoke, a sinful hand reached under the partition.
Someone came to the bathroom without toilet paper?! Ridiculous!
Chen Shu, being the helpful soul he was, handed over a pack of tissues.
That voice sounds kind of familiar though.
Just as the thought crossed his mind, a voice came from the left side too.
"Bro, emergency for me too!"
Chen Shu was speechless. "Are you two running some kind of toilet paper scam?"
He'd thought one person was ridiculous enough, but now there were two who hadn't brought any.
Chen Shu handed another pack to the left.
After a while, something felt off.
Why do both voices sound so familiar? Like I just heard them recently.
Chen Shu's eyes darted around. He pulled up his pants, braced his feet against the stall partition, and began climbing up step by step.
When he'd gotten his head above the partition, ready to see who was on either side—
His expression froze. His brain even went blank for a moment.
The people in the other two stalls had climbed up at the same time. All three of them were in nearly identical poses, hands braced on the partition walls, staring at each other.
"Holy shit! Xu Xingxing! And Xie Sunan's son?!"
Chen Shu's mind reeled. He couldn't help but shout.
No wonder it had sounded so familiar!
Xie Sunan spoke up from beside him: "What the hell, man—I AM Xie Sunan!"
"You?! Then where's your beard?"
"I shaved it! I told you, I'm not that old!"
Xu Xingxing chimed in from the other side: "You here to drop off your son for school?"
"I don't have a goddamn son! I'm only eighteen! I'm in the flower of my youth, don't you get it?!"
Chen Shu tilted his head toward Xu Xingxing. "You're here for school too?"
"Yeah! What, you think I came here specifically to squat in a toilet stall?"
"Something's not right. I'm a veteran at Nanjiang Second High. I've never seen you two before."
Chen Shu furrowed his brow. Suddenly he thought of Wang Qinghan, and his eyes went wide. "You two are transfer students too?!"
Both of them nodded in unison.
"Holy shit! This is insane! The school leadership has completely lost it—they paid money to recruit two weaklings!"
Just as Chen Shu was lamenting to the heavens, he happened to glance down.
The men's bathroom was packed with people, all staring up at them with bizarre expressions.
The three of them were about three meters off the ground. So this is what the new squatting position looks like these days?
These onlookers had seen some ridiculous things in their lives, but nothing quite like this.
A full three meters up. What are they doing, launching intercontinental ballistic missiles?!
Chen Shu maintained a look of perfect composure. "This is the latest expert-researched squatting technique. Supposedly helps cure constipation. Don't tell me none of you have tried it?"
Xie Sunan's expression was one of utter satisfaction. "There's definitely scientific evidence for this. My constipation is completely cured now."
"I like this position." Xu Xingxing smiled bashfully.
With that, all three dropped back down to the ground and calmly opened their stall doors, not a trace of panic on their faces.
Their psychological fortitude was absolutely rock solid.
The whole performance left everyone else feeling uncertain about themselves. All they could do was stand there in a daze, watching the three walk out with perfect composure.