Ch. 3 - Clear and Stupid

After a ten-minute drive, they finally arrived at Song Junzhu's villa.

"Change into this."

Song Junzhu tossed a luxury brand bag onto Lu Xing and went to her bedroom to change into her pajamas.

Lu Xing clutched the luxury bag, chanting to himself in his mind:

‘The customer is God! The customer is God!’

Even after mentally preparing himself, Lu Xing was still shocked when he saw the contents of the bag.

"A maid outfit?"

Huh?

He, a man, was supposed to wear a maid outfit? And this was a fucking dress!

"You have a problem with it?"

Song Junzhu emerged from the bedroom, her lazy voice filled with endless indifference.

She had changed into a long, dark-green silk nightdress. 

The straps hung loosely on her straight, delicate collarbones, making her shoulders appear even more smooth and jade-like.

Song Junzhu took off the glasses on her nose and walked toward Lu Xing. Under the cold white lights, she looked both stunning and domineering.

Lu Xing put on his professional smile.

"No problem at all."

You're the boss, so it's completely OK!

"It's good that you have no problem."

Song Junzhu's red lips curled up. 

She casually tied up her thick, dark hair, revealing a neck as white as jade, with a few mischievous strands of hair falling beside her ear.

Normally, Lu Xing would definitely be praising how beautiful the boss was at a time like this.

But this was not a normal situation.

Because he saw what was in Song Junzhu's hand.

This looks way too much like Weslie's bell, Lu Xing thought. 

(TL: Weslie is the main character from the popular Chinese cartoon Pleasant Goat and Big Big Wolf, known for the bell he wears.)

I wonder if putting it on will make me smarter.

Song Junzhu's tone flickered with danger. "This was custom-made for a high price... I'm sure you'll love it."

Seeing the flicker of fear in Lu Xing's eyes, Song Junzhu's mood improved immensely.

She wanted to see this detestable face cry and beg for mercy before her!

Who gave him the right to abandon her to go find some bullshit true love?

Ridiculous!

Song Junzhu smiled as she approached Lu Xing, her hand slowly caressing his neck!

A moment later.

"There, very cute."

Song Junzhu's smile widened.

Lu Xing tugged at the corner of his mouth, wanting to laugh, but his breath was suddenly snatched away.

Lu Xing stumbled unsteadily into Song Junzhu's arms, forced to meet her teasing and crazed eyes.

A cold voice, accompanied by a fragrant scent, brushed against his ear, exceptionally clear.

"From now on, whenever you are here, you must wear this. Understand?"

"Still want to go find your true love?"

Knowing that Song Junzhu was once again mistaking him for her fiancé, Lu Xing immediately apologized.

"I'm sorry, I don't want to find true love. I only love you."

"Shut up!"

She had clearly gotten the answer she wanted.

But looking at Lu Xing's aggrieved, downcast gaze and his tightly pursed lips, as if he had been bullied, Song Junzhu's heart skipped a beat, a dull ache spreading through it.

Unable to understand it, she attributed this emotion to Lu Xing's disobedience.

"Go change into the clothes, then make dinner."

"If you're disobedient..." A dangerous glint flashed in Song Junzhu's eyes. "I don't mind making you take a walk outside like this."

Lu Xing obediently picked up the clothing bag from the floor and nodded in agreement, while frantically complaining in his head.

Psycho! 

She wants me to carry out the master's orders?

Fucking psycho!

But then he thought that if she wasn't satisfied with the food he made, this damn psycho would find another reason to pick a fight, so Lu Xing asked.

"Professor Song, what would you like to eat?"

"You seem to be very busy with work recently. How about I make you a jujube and pork rib soup to help you recuperate? Do you want the other dishes to be the same as before?"

Song Junzhu was about to agree, but then she found the feeling of Lu Xing knowing her tastes so well to be extremely annoying.

She was clearly the boss with the upper hand!

So Song Junzhu frowned.

"Think of it yourself! If I have to think of even such a small thing, what do I need you for? I'm going to work. Call me when dinner is ready!"

After speaking, she turned sharply, her fluffy long hair brushing past Lu Xing's shoulder, leaving only a lingering fragrance.

"How about fish soup then?"

"Think of it yourself!"

Bang!

The door slammed shut!

"Fucking psycho."

Staring at the closed door, a smile tugged at the corner of Lu Xing's lips, the pitiful and aggrieved expression from before completely gone.

He changed into the maid outfit in the dressing room, looked at himself in the mirror for a good while, and said smugly.

"Hey, I actually look pretty good in this. As expected, the final touch of fashion is the face!"

"Why didn't she prepare some black stockings for me? So thoughtless. My legs are so long, they'd definitely look good!"

Song Junzhu treated Lu Xing this way because she wanted to see his humble and pained expression.

So, he would just act it out for her.

The job of a professional simp was to provide emotional value, wasn't it?

If he took the money while complaining about his fate, it would be no different from being a whore who still wants a monument to her chastity. 

(TL: A Chinese idiom, 当婊子立牌坊 (dāng biǎozi lì páifāng), for someone who does something immoral while trying to maintain a virtuous reputation; hypocrisy.)

Lu Xing looked at himself in the maid outfit in the mirror and chuckled.

"Wearing a skirt is pretty good too. No need to worry about whether to place it on the left or the right." (TL: Nah, I'm not explaining this. (ED: You have to though? XP))

"It's great to be rich." Lu Xing touched the necklace around his neck. "How many tens of thousands must this have cost?"

This brand was considered a top-tier luxury.

Lu Xing didn't think a luxury brand would mass-produce something like this.

The most likely possibility was that Song Junzhu had it custom-made.

Damn rich people!

Lu Xing tidied himself up, went to the kitchen to cook, and muttered.

"Damn it, it would have been so much better if she just gave me the money she spent on this!"

...

It was already half-past twelve by the time he finished cooking.

Lu Xing had adapted well to the maid outfit, even wiping his wet hands on the apron in a manly fashion before knocking on the study door.

"Professor Song, dinner is ready."

A minute later, Song Junzhu came out of the study with a sullen face.

Her features were intense and exquisite, carrying a strong sense of aggression along with her cool allure.

Now, with a blank expression, she was even more intimidating.

Lu Xing wondered what he had done to provoke her this time. Why was she angry again?

However, taking care of a client's emotions was part of the professional integrity of a professional simp.

So Lu Xing asked gently.

"Professor Song, are you a little tired from work? It's a good time to eat and rest. I've made..."

"I don't understand."

Song Junzhu cut Lu Xing off directly. 

Her eyes, which were usually full of confidence and superiority, were now filled with confusion.

Lu Xing paused for a moment, not knowing what new act she was putting on.

Song Junzhu was genuinely frustrated.

"How can those university students be even stupider than you? Even an elementary school student could do that simple test paper." 

Lu Xing couldn't help but chuckle as he pulled out a chair for Song Junzhu.

"Everyone's intellectual peak has passed, you know. It's understandable. Besides, the fact that they ask Professor Song questions just shows how much the students like you."

Even Lu Xing himself didn't believe the words coming out of his mouth.

Song Junzhu believed them even less, letting them go in one ear and out the other as she muttered.

"They won't affect my standing in the academic world, but they will make me lose face in the world of education!"

She had taken on a specialized course on a whim this year, and she never expected it to give her such a shock!

Pfft.

Lu Xing held back from laughing at his client and instead served her a bowl of soup.

"Would you like some soup?"

Song Junzhu's attention was instantly captured. She looked at the dishes on the table; every single one was to her liking.

And Lu Xing had made both the pork rib soup and the fish soup.

Hmm, it seems Lu Xing is much smarter than those university students with their clear and stupid eyes. 

(TL: 清澈的愚蠢 (qīngchè de yúchǔn) is a popular meme phrase used to describe someone who is so purely and obviously dumb that it's almost endearing, like a husky.)

Jingle.

The crisp sound of the bell caught Song Junzhu's attention.

Song Junzhu's gaze moved from Lu Xing's skirt hem, to the slender neck wearing the necklace, and then to...

His eyes, which looked at her like an affectionate dog/cat.

Song Junzhu narrowed her eyes, suddenly feeling that fairy tales didn't lie.

Although there was no Snail Maiden, she had met a Snail Boy. 

(TL: A reference to the Chinese folktale of the Snail Maiden (田螺姑娘), a celestial being who secretly comes out of her snail shell to cook and clean for a poor farmer.)

Lu Xing poured water for Song Junzhu as usual. Sunlight streamed through the glass, casting a golden halo around him.

Song Junzhu's gaze gradually deepened, her throat went dry, and she subconsciously swallowed.

Suddenly... suddenly I really want to pat Lu Xing's head, what should I do?

This thought appeared in her mind, catching even Song Junzhu herself off guard!

But, if I take the initiative to suggest it, will Lu Xing get carried away? Will he walk all over me?

Song Junzhu's hand under the table gripped the edge of the chair tightly. After much thought, she made up her mind.

Whatever, I must pat his head today!

Suppressing the throbbing in her heart, Song Junzhu said with an impatient look on her face.

"Don't you even know how to coordinate your clothes?"

Lu Xing tilted his head in confusion.

Song Junzhu awkwardly averted her gaze, her eyes fixed on the bowl of fish soup in front of her as she commanded.

"Go get the cat ears from the left compartment of the walk-in closet."

Lu Xing was shaken.

Fuck!

I underestimated her level of crazy again.

Taking advantage of the opportunity to put the ears on Lu Xing, Song Junzhu got her wish and got to rub his head. 

The fluffy texture felt just like petting a cat.

Song Junzhu was clearly in a good mood and, for once, took the trouble to show concern for Lu Xing.

"You have your exams soon, right?"

Lu Xing was in the middle of finishing her leftovers. 

Hearing her words, he nodded dumbly while chewing his food, the cat ears on his head wobbling back and forth.

This is so nice.

Song Junzhu's brow smoothed out, the corners of her stunning eyes lifted in a smile, and her snow-white shoulders were dazzling.

Lu Xing had been so obedient today, which put Song Junzhu in an excellent mood.

In any case, grading those university students' homework was annoying. It was better to look at her own Snail Boy.

So, for the first time ever, Song Junzhu said.

"After you finish eating, I'll tutor you."

As the youngest professor in the history of Haicheng University, and someone who had personally shattered the "vase" rumors with her achievements... 

(TL: "Vase" or 花瓶 (huāpíng) is slang for a person who is beautiful but lacks substance or talent.)

Song Junzhu absolutely had the credentials to say this.

Lu Xing: "...Huh? Me?"

Lu Xing had no idea what kind of madness had possessed her this time.

Could it be that as she got older, she was suddenly having a maternal outburst?

Crazy. Whatever, who cares about her!

During the day, Song Junzhu wasn't that crazy.

It was at night that her true psycho side came out!

He should just go along with her; otherwise, she'll likely be even more unreasonable tonight.

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