Vol. 1 - Ch. 192 - True self
Transmigrated as the fake young master, I'll beat up the scumbags and b*tchesThis chapter is broken. Please report this on discord.
Notes
Editor Note
This chapter is broken. Please report this on discord.
Editor Note
"It’s indigestion. When eating, don’t overdo it. You need to give your stomach time to rest. We’ll set you up with an IV in a bit, and I’ll prescribe some medication for you to take home," the old doctor said as he scribbled down the diagnosis and a list of medications, handing them to HuMing.
HuMing helped Xia XiaoXi to the hospital’s infusion room and found her a seat. Earlier, after taking some medication, Xia XiaoXi still felt the pain, prompting HuMing to bring her straight to the hospital.
However, HuMing was absolutely against Xia XiaoXi’s reckless overeating.
As Xia XiaoXi sat there with the IV needle in her hand, she glanced at HuMing, who had finally taken a moment to rest. Throughout her discomfort, he had been tirelessly taking care of her.
A trace of embarrassment flickered across her face. She hadn’t expected herself to eat so much that she got indigestion—it had never happened to her before.
"HuMing, sorry for troubling you.”
"You actually know you’re troubling me? You stuffed yourself like crazy the moment you saw good food, with no thought of stopping. Keep this up, and you’re bound to ruin your health," HuMing said, shaking his head helplessly. Normally, at this hour, he’d be at home resting.
Although he had initially said he was heading home, there was no way he’d feel comfortable leaving Xia XiaoXi to fend for herself. Sure enough, she ended up in trouble.
Xia XiaoXi bit her lip, visibly embarrassed. Yet her gaze wandered back to HuMing, and a certain scene replayed in her mind—the moment he shielded her earlier and declared himself to be her boyfriend. The memory left her flustered.
Even though it was just to fend off others, the gesture had stirred something in her.
It was the first time anyone had done something like that for her.
A scene she thought only existed in novels or manga had actually happened in real life.
"Hey, HuMing, you didn’t think of ditching me earlier, did you?" Xia XiaoXi teased as she leaned closer despite the IV in her hand. Her mischievous tone suggested she was back to her usual self.
HuMing, unfazed, leaned casually against the wall and replied, "Since I promised to get you home safely, I’m not going to break my word."
"Tsk, saying something like that is way too cool..."
The two fell into a brief silence as people bustled in and out of the hospital.
Xia XiaoXi’s eyes drifted toward the entrance, where an elderly couple supported each other as they walked in. They seemed like each other’s entire world, evoking a sense of quiet admiration.
She blinked and turned her gaze to HuMing beside her.
There he was, propping his head on one hand, yawning as he scrolled through his phone—completely unlike the dependable figure from earlier.
And yet, it was precisely this contrast that drew her to him.
Xia XiaoXi suddenly felt like a character from an anime, wanting to tell HuMing, "I’m curious!"
Her heart raced—a feeling entirely new to her.
Unlike the nerves she felt before stepping on stage, this was an intense desire to understand HuMing as a person.
But before that, she wanted to know how he’d react if he knew her secret.
"HuMing, I want to tell you a secret."
"Hmm?" HuMing paused his scrolling and turned to look at her.
Despite the smile on her face, her gaze was serious.
"You’ve been wondering why I was overeating, right? The truth is, before I go on stage, I get really anxious. And when I’m anxious, I eat non-stop to fill the void. Weird, huh?"
Xia XiaoXi smiled and turned away, but she didn’t see the laughter she expected on HuMing’s face.
Instead, his expression was unusually solemn, as if he hadn’t anticipated her confession.
"You’re saying you eat like that because you’re anxious about the performance?" he asked, immediately connecting the dots to the upcoming cultural festival. It was the only thing that could explain her unease.
This revelation baffled him.
Xia XiaoXi had surely faced countless performances, many far grander than this one. To think that this event would rattle such a seasoned idol...
"Yep, weird, right? I’m supposed to be an idol, but even getting on stage makes me nervous. Isn’t that ridiculous?"
Her symptoms had only worsened over time. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t stop overeating, which had become her only outlet for coping with the stress.
But strangely, telling HuMing about it brought her a sense of relief.
She trusted him to keep her secret.
HuMing quietly slipped his phone into his pocket, deciding not to console Xia XiaoXi directly. He understood that this was a deeply ingrained fear for her. No matter what others say, if Xia XiaoXi couldn’t figure it out herself, she would never be able to overcome it.
"Actually," he began, "everyone has a version of themselves that others have built themselves. Before stepping on stage, you might fear you won’t meet their expectations, because deep down, you know that version isn’t really you."
Xia XiaoXi gazed silently at HuMing, listening intently to his words.
The boy in front of her wasn’t comforting her in the way she had imagined. Just as he had said, the HuMing she had thought wasn’t the real HuMing.
"After all, we can’t always tell which side of ourselves is true and which is false. Everyone exists in a complex social environment; no one can show their genuine self all the time."
"So how does one become their true self? Who can give you that answer?"
"Xia XiaoXi, before you step on stage, ask yourself: Why are you really standing there?"
"Is it for the countless faces in the audience? Or for the person you want to be—the one who loves being on stage?"
HuMing didn’t know what Xia XiaoXi was thinking, but these were the only words he had to offer.
He wasn’t someone who could pull others out of the abyss with eloquent philosophies. He could only do what HuMing could do.
Xia XiaoXi stared at him, momentarily lost in thought.
She had always claimed she wanted the world to love her, but deep down, she knew it was impossible to be liked by everyone.
What she truly feared were the voices of criticism, the possibility of failing to meet her fans’ expectations.
But in the beginning, she had only wanted to show her best self to the world…
Slowly, Xia XiaoXi's lips curved into a smile, and her gaze toward HuMing softened.
"HuMing, you really gave quite the speech just now. You sounded just like Wise Sensei."
"Wise Sensei? Who’s that?"
"A really impressive character from an anime."
(TL: (大老师) Nickname Chinese fans give to Hachiman Hikigaya)