Chapter 101
Thump.
A heartbeat echoed in her ears. Whose was it? Daphne’s? Edmund’s? Or perhaps both? No one could say.
The two simply stared at each other in silence. As if they were the only ones left in the world. As if they were desperate to look at each other, to never look away. An eternity seemed to pass. It was Edmund who broke eye contact first.
“Ah…”
Edmund blinked his dry eyes. Disoriented and unable to focus his gaze, as if burned, he struggled to steady himself, until, at last, he looked at her again.
“…I know.”
Who would have thought that a single phrase, ‘I know,’ could carry such searing pain? His throat burned as if scorched, and Edmund instinctively pressed his fingers against his neck, digging his nails in slightly. Red marks bloomed under the pressure.
“I know. I do.”
He wasn’t unaware.
He’d sensed it, deep down. She would never know how hard he’d tried to keep those thoughts from forming. His fingers curled slightly, trembling with the effort it took to suppress it. He drew in a sharp breath. It tasted dry and stale.
Edmund swallowed hard.
“What I want to say is… don’t misunderstand.”
Colder than the wind that brushed past his skin, her voice grazed his ear.
“I’m not the same love-struck fool I once was, Edmund.”
Ha. Edmund had to choke down the bitter laugh that almost burst out of him. Even now, even like this, hearing his name from her lips made him feel strangely at ease. Something in him was clearly broken.
“…Understood.”
“You said you loved me.”
Daphne whispered.
“I’ll believe you. So please… take me to where Damian is.”
“…That’s…”
Before he could finish, Daphne bit down on her lip and spun around. As her weight shifted back, her thin body wavered precariously.
“...!”
“Don’t come any closer!”
She shouted, teetering as if she might fall at any second.
“Promise me! Right now! Take me to Damian!”
Whooooosh. That was when the wind picked up again, harsh and unrelenting. It pushed her body backward. Daphne squeezed her eyes shut, then opened them. She found herself in the warmth of an embrace, thawing her cold, wind-bitten body.
“…That could have been dangerous.”
Edmund’s voice was heavy with barely contained emotion. His chest rose and fell with sharp breaths, the warmth of them spilling over her head. With hands he couldn’t keep from trembling, he gripped her shoulders tightly.
“I’ll do whatever you want. Just…”
He whispered, desperate.
“Don’t ever do something like this again.”
Daphne’s exhausted eyelids grew heavy in an instant.
Thump, thump.
Their hearts beat in perfect sync, pressed together with not even an inch between them. As if their hearts were matching each other's pace.
You could lie with your eyes. With your tone. With words. But there was one thing you couldn’t control.
Thump, thump.
Daphne, who knew the truth, closed her eyes. She hoped Edmund would realize it as late as possible.
At the end of a lonely, one-sided love, the only things left are surrender, and a heart that seems to exist solely to beat for one person.
* * *
Daphne began to eat as if the days she’d refused food had all been a lie. Having gone without for so long, her stomach couldn’t handle the sudden intake, and she ended up throwing everything up. But she stubbornly continued to eat.
For the three days spent preparing to travel to the capital, she focused solely on regaining her health, managing to gain a little weight. Whether that was fortunate or not, Edmund’s expression remained unreadable when he heard the report.
“She’s still a long way from her former self, but her health is gradually improving.”
Benjamin relayed the message he’d received from Baroness Nouvelle.
“Your Excellency. And… about what I meant to tell you last time.”
Benjamin brought up the conversation they’d left unfinished three days ago.
At the time, the situation with Daphne had escalated and interrupted them. Since then, Edmund had been too busy preparing for the journey to the capital. It was only now that they finally had a moment to talk face to face.
“You remember the Young Lord who came to see you. He asked about Lady Vanessa.”
“…What?”
Edmund blinked.
Vanessa. It was a name that hadn’t been spoken in decades. Anyone who knew the story had avoided it entirely. The memories from long ago came rushing back.
[“Edmund, I’m going to prove myself to Father.”]
The image of the woman who had said those words and walked away flickered in front of his eyes, and with it came a sharp headache.
Edmund furrowed his brow and pressed his fingers to his forehead.
“Your Excellency, are you alright?”
When Benjamin offered to summon the Baroness, Edmund waved him off.
“I’m fine. Go on.”
“The Young Lord asked about Lady Vanessa. And I answered. Except for one thing. I didn’t think it was my place to say it.”
“Where on earth…?”
Edmund stopped himself. His father had gone to great lengths to erase all traces of Vanessa. Within the mansion, there was almost nothing left of her.
The former Duke had considered bringing Vanessa into their lives the greatest mistake of his life, and he’d taken her memory with him to the grave.
“It was a secret bound to come out eventually.”
“…Damian is still young.”
“Your Excellency, the Young Lord is no longer a child.”
Edmund sometimes still thought of Damian as a boy.
“He’s not the four-year-old you rescued from that slum anymore. He’s an adult now.”
Benjamin added firmly.
“I have faith that Your Excellency will handle this matter wisely.”
With that, Benjamin exited. As the door shut, Edmund finally looked up from his paperwork.
‘Vanessa…’
He sifted through the recesses of his memory.
Vanessa had left the mansion the year Edmund turned ten, when he was formally introduced to the family retainers. Whether it had been her choice or a command from the former Duke, he didn’t know. She’d vanished, leaving behind cryptic words.
Then, eight years later, when Edmund became the Duke Winter after his father’s death and was about to head off to war, news reached him.
There was an illegitimate child of House Winter.
The place Edmund was led to was a slum. There, he found a motherless child, begging on the streets. Black hair. Gray eyes. A face that mirrored Vanessa’s almost exactly.
He’d tried to find Vanessa, but it was as if she’d died, no trace of her remained. The child seemed to have endured something terrible and had no memories at all. Edmund had taken him into the mansion.
“Your Excellency, we’re ready.”
Before he could fall deeper into his thoughts, Edmund was snapped back to the present.
“…Alright.”
He put on his coat, stepped out of the mansion, and opened the carriage door. Inside, Daphne was already seated. Edmund hesitated for a moment before sitting at the far end, opposite her.
“Let’s go.”
The carriage set off smoothly. Though they were in the same carriage, neither Edmund nor Daphne said a word.
“Damian is currently at the temple.”
At that, Daphne finally looked away from the window and at Edmund.
“…The temple?”
She’d heard from the Baroness that Damian was in the capital, but not that he was at the temple. Given the strained relationship between House Winter and the temple, it didn’t make sense to her.
“Did something happen to him…?”
As a bad thought crossed her mind, her voice rose in alarm, just as the carriage jolted violently, as if it had hit a large stone. Unfortunately, it was the wheel on Daphne’s side. Her body lifted off the seat and lost balance.
“Careful!”
Edmund reached out and caught her around the waist. Avoiding a nasty bump against the ceiling, Daphne found herself in Edmund’s arms, blinking in shock.
“…Please be more careful.”
He set her back in her seat as if she weighed nothing. As Edmund returned to his side, Daphne lowered her head and tugged at her wrinkled clothes.
Thump, thump.
The brief moment her ear had pressed against Edmund’s chest was more than enough to make her dizzy. His heartbeat was too fast. Too loud.