Ch. 13 - People Who Love to Eat Are All Good People! Foodism!
I Only Care About Making Money And Not Love. I'm The Best Professional Simp!This chapter is broken. Please report this on discord.
This chapter is broken. Please report this on discord.
Early the next morning.
After washing up, Lu Xing, for the first time, found himself in a dilemma over what to wear.
Looking at his clothes of vastly different styles, Lu Xing laughed out loud.
"When I'm done with this line of work, I think I need to write a book, The Professional Simp's Guide, to make some extra cash!"
As a professional simp, dressing to the client's preference is an essential skill.
For example, when facing Wei Qingyu, who was a neat freak, Lu Xing would wear simple, clean clothes.
When facing Song Junzhu, who was always going crazy, Lu Xing would wear durable, mature clothes.
When facing Chi Yueshan, who sang opera, Lu Xing would wear clothes with traditional Chinese elements.
"So professional. I totally deserve to earn this money!"
Lu Xing muttered smugly.
Before, he chose his clothes to please his clients. Now that he suddenly had the chance to choose his own style, he found himself not knowing what to wear.
After thinking for a long time.
Lu Xing finally changed into his school uniform.
Mm, tough and durable!
Having chosen his clothes, Lu Xing set off with a cheerful pace and got on the bus to school!
Sitting on the bus.
He unzipped his schoolbag. Inside, besides books, were some clothes.
"Around noon, I need to make a trip to the luxury second-hand shop to sell the clothes Song Junzhu bought for me."
"Mm... I'll keep two pieces, so I can wear them when I see Song Junzhu in the future."
To Lu Xing, the clothes Song Junzhu bought were completely overpriced.
He would rather have the cash equivalent!
The only reason he wasn't selling all of them was to avoid being discovered by Song Junzhu. If she found out, she would definitely go crazy again!
Song Junzhu was different from the clients who only used their words.
"That damn psycho really whips you with a real whip!"
Remembering how Song Junzhu looked holding that whip the other night, Lu Xing could feel a faint ache in his back.
"Luckily, the psycho was in a good mood this time and didn't torture me too much."
Before, whenever Song Junzhu thought of that fiancé, she would get angry, and whenever she got angry, she would grab Lu Xing and whip him!
Occasionally, Song Junzhu would miss and hit Lu Xing in the face, and that was what really hurt.
In the middle of the night, Lu Xing would wake up from the pain just by turning over and pressing on the wound on his face.
He didn't dare to sleep for several nights.
He didn't know what had happened these past few days, but Song Junzhu had suddenly had a maternal outburst?
"So crazy!"
Lu Xing shook his head, no longer thinking about her.
...
【The next stop is City No. 1 High School. Passengers, please exit in an orderly manner and be careful not to trip.】
Arrived!
Lu Xing's eyes lit up. He grabbed his schoolbag and rushed off the bus.
"I never felt it before, but now I realize that getting an extra half hour of sleep every day is so damn good!"
Wei Qingyu had a weak stomach and was a picky eater.
She had fainted from low blood sugar before, and as luck would have it, she fainted right in front of Lu Xing and practically kowtowed to him, almost scaring him to death!
Later, after learning that she had low blood sugar and didn't like to eat breakfast, Lu Xing tried making some congee for her.
Lu Xing had been prepared for a heartless rejection.
But he didn't know if it was because the great Campus Belle Wei was used to eating delicacies, but she actually seemed to really enjoy the occasional simple congee and side dishes?
From then on.
Lu Xing had to wake up half an hour early every day to bring food for Wei Qingyu.
And Wei Qingyu was a real sport, giving Lu Xing a hundred yuan every time.
A hundred yuan for some simple, home-cooked congee. Lu Xing really didn't know what to say about Wei Qingyu.
What a blockhead!
"She's a bit cold, but not a bad person."
Thinking of Wei Qingyu, Lu Xing walked into the classroom of Senior Year, Class (1).
The moment he entered, the entire classroom went silent.
Everyone's heads swiveled to look behind him.
For no other reason.
They were looking for Wei Qingyu.
After all, from the moment Wei Qingyu stepped into the school gates, Lu Xing's figure could be seen. Then, for the rest of the day, it was as if Lu Xing had a radar installed, able to track Wei Qingyu's whereabouts at all times!
They even suspected Lu Xing would claim to be a gay woman and follow Wei Qingyu into the girls' bathroom!
Not seeing Wei Qingyu's figure, everyone in the class was surprised.
"Did the sun rise from the west today? The simp has changed his ways?"
Someone said it, and the class instantly burst into laughter.
Lu Xing glanced at them and said flatly.
"Old Ban will be on this floor in ten seconds."
(TL: "Old Ban" is a common nickname for a homeroom teacher, whose title is 班主任 (bānzhǔrèn).)
Whoosh!
Everyone's expression changed in an instant. They quickly sat down properly in their seats and then began to chant some "Yi Yu Xu, Wei Hu Gao Zai."
(TL: A famous, difficult-to-recite line from a classical Chinese poem, implying they are pretending to study hard.)
Lu Xing shook his head, amused.
At this age, kids valued their pride more than anything, and their herd mentality trumped all else.
Were they bad? Not really.
Just stupid.
They didn't even use their brains to think: so many people liked Wei Qingyu, so how was it that only Lu Xing was allowed to follow her around?
If Wei Qingyu was truly unwilling, she had countless ways to drive Lu Xing away, but she didn't.
What did that mean?
It meant that Wei Qingyu actually fell for this kind of thing!
Lu Xing couldn't help but sigh. The strategy guide was practically fed to everyone's mouths, but they stubbornly clenched their teeth and refused to take a bite!
However–
Whether she fell for it or not had nothing to do with Lu Xing anymore. The simp package her old man had ordered had expired!
Lu Xing walked to his seat and put down his schoolbag.
His deskmate was the class's sports committee member, named Li Dachun.
A pretty funny, big, silly guy.
Li Dachun was hiding his face with a book, secretly eating bread underneath, his eyes darting around, constantly vigilant of the situation outside the window. He turned and asked Lu Xing.
"Is Old Ban really here?"
Lu Xing spread his hands. "I didn't see her."
Li Dachun was relieved. He took another big bite of bread and said comfortably.
"Ah! So yummy!!!"
"Li Dachun!"
A sharp voice made everyone's scalp tingle.
The one true god of Senior Year, Class (1)—homeroom teacher Li Juanfang—had arrived on the scene!
Just hearing her name, you knew how terrifyingly strong she was!
Whoops.
Lu Xing froze, and Li Dachun froze too.
"Go eat outside!"
The Demon Lord Li had spoken. Li Dachun dejectedly picked up his book and went to stand outside.
Lu Xing put his schoolbag in his desk drawer, fumbled around inside for a few seconds, and also picked up a book and went out.
As he reached the door, Demon Lord Li called out to him.
"I didn't tell you to go out."
Lu Xing said seriously.
"Teacher, I ate too."
Watching Lu Xing's departing back, Demon Lord Li muttered to herself that the little brat was quite loyal.
"What are you looking at! You still have the face to look?!"
Demon Lord Li's oppressive gaze swept over the class as she sneered. "The first mock exam is almost here, which means the college entrance exam is almost here!"
"Memorize one more line of poetry, score one more point, and you'll beat a thousand people!"
The people in the class lowered their heads, enduring Demon Lord Li's wrath, and unconsciously glanced at the two outside the classroom.
Damn it! I'm actually a little envious!
...
"Ah~ I really want to go in and sit down~~~" Li Dachun said dejectedly outside.
Lu Xing let out a laugh and opened his Chinese textbook.
"This is a besieged city. Those inside want to get out, and those outside want to get in. How can you say which is better?"
Li Dachun felt that Lu Xing was a bit special today.
Before, Lu Xing was always focused on Wei Qingyu and never talked to him!
But today.
Not only did Lu Xing speak to him nicely, but he also came out to be punished with him!
Li Dachun asked Lu Xing.
"Then what's the benefit of standing outside?"
Lu Xing smiled, tossed something to Li Dachun, and said leisurely.
"This benefit."
Li Dachun fumbled to catch the object. He looked at the packaging and was shocked.
"Holy crap! Imported chocolate! This stuff is expensive, I only treat myself to it once a month!"
Lu Xing took out another handful from his pocket and gave it to Li Dachun. "You have good taste. They're all yours."
This was a free gift from the luxury brand staff when Song Junzhu bought him clothes yesterday.
He didn't like sweets, so it was perfect to give them away.
Li Dachun teleported in front of Lu Xing.
"Adoptive father! For real?!"
(TL: "义父" (yìfù) is a half-joking, half-serious way to address someone who gives you free stuff, like a sugar daddy, but more platonic and meme-like.)
Lu Xing chuckled and waved his hand.
"For real, for real. They're all yours!"
He had to say.
The occupational hazards left over from his time as a professional simp were enough for Lu Xing to perform a dimensional takedown in his real life, a complete slaughter.
Mm, the kind that conquers both men and women.
Just a handful of chocolate, and he was instantly promoted to "adoptive father".
Li Dachun was happy!
He enjoyed the chocolate while saying.
"Adoptive father, you're a good person!"
"Anyone who likes to eat is a good person. This is my view of good and evil. Foodism!"
Lu Xing was suddenly issued a "good person card," and he felt a little unaccustomed to it.
"But adoptive father, how come you didn't come with Campus Belle Wei today?"
Li Dachun's stomach was full, and his mind turned to gossip.
Da da da.
A rush of hurried footsteps interrupted Lu Xing. He turned his head to look.
A familiar figure appeared at the top of the stairs.
Li Dachun said in surprise.
"Holy crap! Campus Belle Wei is actually late!"