"Did you seriously just launch a fucking nuclear bomb?"
The corner of Fang Si's mouth twitched. A creeping sense of dread was already settling in.
"How is that even possible?"
Chen Shu shook his head. What an imagination. Who launches a nuke on New Year's Eve?
Then he slapped his forehead, as though an idea had just struck him.
Chen Shu licked his lips and said, "But what if I dripped just a teensy little bit of the nuclear bomb potion -- would tonight's Nanjiang City be absolutely thrilling?"
"Are you fucking insane?!"
The corner of Fang Si's mouth twitched again, and she was half a second away from arresting Chen Shu herself.
It's New Year's Eve. Can't you go five minutes without causing problems?
"I'm kidding, I'm kidding. A potion that precious -- I'd never waste it."
Chen Shu said no more. He wheeled the giant firework box out to the open clearing ahead.
Chen Shu flashed a wide grin. "Ladies and gentlemen -- the moment to witness a miracle!"[1]
The people around them caught sight of the thing too. Their eyes bulged on the spot, and they instinctively backed away.
What the FUCK is that thing?
Chen Shu's hands didn't tremble, and his heart didn't waver. He lit the giant firework without a second thought.
A beat later, sparks erupted everywhere, and a violent boom shattered the air.
BOOM!
In an instant, the firework rocketed skyward, then detonated with a thunderous crack. The radius of the blast lit up the heavens -- it looked like the entire sky had been swallowed by flame.
The night was illuminated as bright as noon. Brilliant fire blossomed in every direction.
"Why is it so LOUD?!"
A passing pedestrian heard the noise and nearly buckled at the knees, almost collapsing to the ground.
"Not bad, right?"
Chen Shu nodded with deep satisfaction. The second his firework detonated, it had drawn every single pair of eyes in the area.
Compared to his, everyone else's fireworks looked like the kiddie version.
BOOM BOOM BOOM!
Ear-splitting explosions echoed through the air. The sky grew even more dazzling.
But not a single soul cheered. The crowd parted around the blast zone, eyes full of alarm and dread. It felt less like a fireworks show and more like being dropped into the middle of an artillery barrage.
Fang Si rubbed her forehead and said, "Chen Pi, don't you think this is a little over the top?"
"Huh? What? I can't hear you!"
Chen Shu raised an eyebrow. He could see Fang Si's lips moving, but why wasn't any sound coming out?
At this point, Chen Shu still hadn't realized the problem. The fireworks hadn't caused any actual damage, sure -- but the noise was absolutely insane.
Even residents on the far outskirts of Nanjiang City could faintly hear the rumbling. The people living nearby had already started cursing up a storm.
Most of them looked deeply unsettled. Some were genuinely starting to wonder if a war had broken out...
"What the FUCK is going on?!"
Over at the Spirit-Suppression Bureau, Wang Qian had been at home when the explosion hit.
His phone rang immediately after.
"Wang Qian, there's been an unidentified explosion on the city outskirts! Take a team and go check it out!"
Wang Qian rubbed his forehead. Motherfucker -- who has the balls to start shit on New Year's Eve?
On the outskirts, another burst of fireworks bloomed -- and in the sky, four enormous characters materialized: "NANJIANG BANDIT."
Chen Shu gazed up at the sky, unable to contain his grin. Pride swelled in his chest.
But then, just like that, it was over. The deafening blasts cut off abruptly.
"Huh? That's it? Motherfucker -- wasn't it supposed to go for half an hour?!"
Chen Shu frowned and looked over.
The firework box was already coated in a layer of frost. Beside it, the Frost Dragon had stuck its head out, exhaling a steady stream of frigid air.
SMACK!
Fang Si walked up and delivered a sharp knuckle-rap to his skull. "Are you actually insane? Launching a missile on New Year's Eve?"
The crowd finally let out a collective sigh of relief. Was that really a goddamn firework?
"What missile?"
Chen Shu stared at her, completely baffled. I just set off one firework. What did I do wrong?
"It's fine. It was just a little loud, that's all."
Chen Shu didn't give it another thought. He hadn't broken any laws, so naturally he had nothing to fear.
He walked forward, ready to inspect the firework and see if he could squeeze out a second round of glory...
"Who's causing trouble on the outskirts?!"
At that very moment, Wang Qian arrived with his team. His eyes locked onto Chen Shu, who was fiddling with a giant firework box.
"Chen Pi!"
His gaze zeroed in on the suspect.
The instant he saw it was Chen Shu, everything that had been unreasonable suddenly became perfectly reasonable...
"W-Wang... Uncle Wang..."
Chen Shu's expression froze. Shit -- I actually brought the Spirit-Suppression Bureau down on myself?
Wang Qian spoke up. "Was that commotion earlier your doing?"
"Beats me!"
Chen Shu shrugged, his face a portrait of righteous integrity.
"I also heard the explosion. Knowing that someone was causing trouble, I rushed to the scene at the first opportunity to apprehend the suspect."
"But by the time I arrived, all that was left was this thing. Uncle Wang, give me some time -- I'll definitely bring the perpetrator to justice!"
The moment the words left his mouth, the crowd erupted.
"Officer! It's him! It was HIM!"
"My ears are still ringing! He lit that giant firework with his own two hands!"
"Please, just take him away! He's like a terrorist!"
The corner of Chen Shu's mouth twitched. The crowd was pointing at him from every direction.
He tried one more angle. "I suspect someone is trying to frame me. Uncle Wang, what do you think?"
"I think you should come take a look inside the Bureau."
Wang Qian stepped forward with a smile.
Two officers behind him escorted Chen Shu away on the spot...
"Uncle Wang, I'm just an idealistic young man setting his dreams free on New Year's Eve! What crime is that?!"
Chen Shu was marched along by two people, wailing nonstop, still pleading his innocence the entire way...
Everyone breathed a sigh of relief. The troublemaker had finally been hauled off.
Zhang Dali spoke up. "Sis Fang Si, aren't you gonna bail Chen Shu out?"
"I'll go when it's time to head home. I could use some peace and quiet too..."
What Chen Shu had done was absurd, sure, but at worst he'd get a stern talking-to.
The group resumed their fireworks -- properly this time. Without Chen Shu around, everyone instantly felt a deep sense of security.
At that moment, Xia Bing turned to her mother with a hint of a smile playing at the corner of her lips.
"So, Mom -- what do you think of Classmate Chen now?"
"Ahem... ahem..."
Xia Bing's mother coughed, and after struggling for a long moment, managed, "He's... quite unique..."
Who could have imagined -- set off one firework, and ended up inside the Bureau yourself?
...
Spirit-Suppression Bureau.
"Uncle Wang, I'm truly sorry! It's New Year's Eve -- I need to go home!"
Chen Shu wore his most repentant expression, looking as though he'd well and truly recognized the error of his ways.
"Oh, you realize you were wrong NOW?"
Wang Qian spoke up. "If you just sit tight in the Bureau, the people of Nanjiang City can all sleep a little easier."
"..."
Chen Shu was speechless. He couldn't help but let out a long sigh.
It's New Year's Eve, and I'm spending it in the Spirit-Suppression Bureau?!
"Uncle Wang, could I ask a small favor?"
"What?"
"My giant firework isn't finished yet. Could we maybe not let it go to waste? We could set it off right here in the Bureau!"
"Get the fuck out! You want to set it off in the goddamn BUREAU?!"
Wang Qian rubbed his forehead. His perfectly good holiday had just been single-handedly ruined by Chen Shu.
Chen Shu tilted his head back and let out a long, mournful sigh. He couldn't help but hum softly, "The world outside is wonderful..."[2]
To think that I, the Nanjiang Bandit, have been reduced to this...
Wang Qian looked over and replied without missing a beat, "But you make the world outside feel helpless!"
Eleven o'clock at night.
Fang Si and the others finally came to collect Chen Shu. Wang Qian breathed a sigh of relief too.
He'd been genuinely worried that Chen Shu might get a wild impulse and start causing trouble right there in the Bureau. If that happened, his career as squad captain would be over...
Fang Si and the group all wore cheerful smiles.
Without Chen Shu, they'd safely made it through one whole New Year's Eve...