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Julius, who had failed to baptize me, bestowed his blessings upon me. He gave me a world of magic so exhilarating that it made me tremble. He saved me from the fate of being scorned as incompetent and defective. He also taught me how to prevent petrification, accompanied me in searching for dragons, and thanks to that, I met Ciel.
If he intended to kill me, why would he treat me so kindly? Why would he desire classified information of such national importance? These questions slipped out of my mouth.
"Professor, do you intend to kill me?"
Julius remained composed, wearing the same detached and immaculate smile as when we first met, looking directly at me.
"I don't intend to kill you. What's the sudden change?"
My head cooled down, and unnecessary emotions vanished. Just a simple question. And now, various suspicious points that I had avoided thinking about were connecting like pieces of a puzzle.
"What do you plan to do with me? Was it just a coincidence that Noah came to visit me?"
I had thought that Noah introduced me to Julius. However, Julius had been watching me even before the day of baptism.
"Not a coincidence, indeed."
"Did you learn about my existence through the auction?"
During the dark auction I attended while traveling, Julius knew that I was the one who was bought.
Julius pondered for a moment, sighed, and echoed his usual calm voice.
"You've figured it out. At that time, I really wanted to win the bid, but I didn't have enough funds."
"Did you also incite the neighboring merchant to teach my mother about blood packs?"
"Oh, you noticed that too?"
Dior's reaction when she first saw Julius might have been strange because she knew Julius's true identity. If Julius had sent Noah to approach me to keep his identity a secret, he might have eliminated Dior.
If Dior had died then, Julius might have confidently appeared as a teacher applicant.
"It seems you didn't want your true identity to be known. Will you kill me here if I investigate further?"
"No? Didn't I say I don't intend to kill you? Right now, you are the most important to me. I can't afford to let you die."
However, Julius's eyes seemed to warn me not to delve any further. What would happen if I pushed it? Ultimately, Dior was saved. Rather, if that incident hadn't occurred, the disease would have spread throughout the city without anyone realizing.
So, the scheming behind the scenes was inconsequential. The reason my cold head turned warm was not because of that.
"Why did you stay silent until now!"
"I would have answered if you had asked. In fact, I'm answering now, aren't I?"
"Why did you stay silent with such a calm face... Mother was on the brink of death!"
"Dior and Sergio already know. They know and are using me."
Huh? Does that mean I was the only one who didn't know? If I had kept quiet, would I never have found out?
I'm not sure if I'm angry at Julius's betrayal or just angry that I was the only one who didn't know.
"Professor! Did you think of me as a child and kept silent because of that!?"
"Sigh... I don't know what you're angry about, but since I've settled things with them, I thought there was no need to say unnecessary things."
Unnecessary things? So, it doesn't concern me because he forgives himself?
He completely thinks of me as a child. Well, I am a child, but unfortunately, about half of me is an adult!
"If it was to get close to me, then I am also involved."
"Indeed, it was to obtain you. However, situations always change. I currently have no intention of doing anything to them, and what's the benefit of specifically telling you?"
"Professor, do you only see me as a tool? Don't you see me as a person, someone to trust... Is that not necessary?"
A boiling sensation surged through my blood, and my eyes began to feel hot.
Julius raised an eyebrow and tilted his head slightly, as if he didn't understand.
It's frustrating. It's frustrating that my feelings don't get through, that I'm not understood.
"I've done my best to gain trust, but was it not enough?"
"So, if you gain trust and no longer have a use for me, you'll kill me, right?"
"I've said multiple times that I don't intend to kill you... Why are you fixating on that?"
"It's a secret!"
I'll never tell Julius about my past life or dreams. Even if it seems inexplicable and I suffer because I don't understand the reason, I'll just have to deal with it.
I know my pursuit has become disjointed. But right now, I'm too angry to think rationally.
"Sigh, it's become troublesome."
"What did you just say? Troublesome? Is talking to me troublesome?"
"No, it's not that... Just calm down a bit."
"Oh, I see. Understood. If talking is troublesome, then words are unnecessary, right?"
I poured all my anger into the staff Julius made for me. In an instant, I unleashed ice magic. The rapidly deployed magic was ice. It would suit the cool face of the man in front of me.
I sent an extremely large block of ice at Julius with all my might. With a deafening roar that shook the air, ice shards scattered, turning the surroundings pure white with vapor.
As the white mist drifted in the wind, I could see Julius, unruffled, shaking his head. It seems he had blocked it with a shield.
"Sheriel, stop. It's dangerous, isn't it?"
If ice doesn't work, how about fire? I quickly generate the next magic circle.
Releasing boiling emotions along with magical power, like a tantrum from an upset child crying out.
"If you don't want to kill me, then I'm safe, right?"
I launch a large fireball at Julius, who is using the previous ice block as a shield. The range is wide, but it doesn't melt the ice. So, I compress the flames without changing the magical power. However, once again, it's blocked by some other shield. How about raising the temperature then? I'll circulate oxygen within the fireball.
I quickly assemble the incantation. A crackling fireball is formed, and I aim it straight at Julius.
Oh, everything is so bothersome. I just want to focus on magic.
Replacing tears with magical power...
Replacing screams with magic...
Why can't you understand?
One large explosion follows another, and between the drifting smoke, burnt vegetation is visible.
"Sheriel, my apologies. I didn't expect you to be this angry."
"Why are you apologizing when I'm the one who's angry!? What are you apologizing for? Do you even understand?"
I am not the Sheriel from the dream. I'm not a person who, despite being skewered from behind, only thinks about being useful to Julius. This is resistance against the future.
After an exceptionally large magical attack, there was the sound of rubble collapsing with the smoke. Julius, who was in front of me, looked flustered for the first time and ran towards me.
It felt like the day had suddenly turned dark, but then I found myself enclosed in Julius
's arms. The ground shook, and a tremendous low sound reverberated throughout my body. Julius's arms, which usually held me firmly, felt uneasy this time.
Julius was quite panicked...
When the sound stopped, and my body regained some freedom, I pushed against Julius's chest with both arms. It was dark around us, but light shone through the gaps in the debris. Julius must have protected me with a shield or barrier.
"Why didn't you use teleportation, Professor?"
"...I didn't think of it on the spot."
"You were desperate."
"It's only natural. But I'll do that next time."
"There won't be a next time. I hate you, Professor. But thank you for saving me."
Julius sighed heavily once, and with a somewhat awkward voice, replied, "Yeah," and used teleportation magic to get out of the rubble.
Looking at it again, the garden was in terrible shape. The tower was partially collapsed, the trees in the backyard were scorched, and the panicked voices of soldiers mixed with the sound of a flute playing in the distance.
I became somewhat calmer, but I still didn't feel like talking to Julius. I turned my face away, and Sergio and Didier came running towards us.
"What's going on!?"
"Please ask the Professor. I'm not feeling well, so I'll go back to my room."
"Huh? What happened? Did you two have a fight? Sheriel, wait!"
Sergio also knew everything but didn't tell me anything. I felt that if I opened my mouth now, only emotional words would come out, so I left the scene in silence.
"Julius, what is going on?"
"...It seems I've upset her quite a bit."
Returning to my room alone, Mary and Sarah hurriedly greeted me.
"Miss Sheriel, why are you alone? Usually, Professor Julius escorts you."
"...I don't want to talk about the professor."
Whether Mary sensed it or not, she immediately brewed a warm cup of tea for me. Changing into fresh clothes, I moistened my dry throat with tea, and gradually, the tangled emotions seemed to loosen.
I might have gone a bit too far... But it's Professor's fault, I think...
A knocking sound on the door, and Mary announces Didier's visit. I don't want to talk to anyone right now, but it seems I can't avoid it. I let Didier in, and Mary and Sarah leave the room.
"Sheriel, are you okay...? Or not. Did you have a fight with Julius?"
"It's not a fight. I just got angry one-sidedly."
"It's rare to see Sheriel angry. What happened? Tell me."
Didier is not showing amusement; he is waiting for my words.
"Did you know, Big Brother, that Professor manipulated a fraudulent merchant?"
"Ah, somehow."
"Don't you think anything about it?"
"Mother and Father don't seem to care, and I know there's no hostility towards Julius now. So, it's not a big deal anymore. Sheriel should be aware of that too, right?"
Despite having strong attachment to the family, everyone forgives Julius due to the fact that he ultimately saved them and by observing Julius's current behavior. I understand that.
"It just made me mad that I was the only one who didn't know..."
"You just didn't want to know, right? You realized it several times, didn't you?"
...That's right, I deliberately avoided that realization. I didn't want to believe that Julius, the teacher, who might eventually kill me, would want to harm me. Deft Didier unravels my emotions by delving into the nuances of my heart.
"Maybe learning magic was fun, and you didn't want to let go of your current life."
In the end, I was also behaving the way I wanted. I pretended not to notice the ominous feeling, procrastinating. I didn't want to stop learning magic.
So, in truth, I'm not angry about not knowing.
"In your dream, Julius killed Sheriel, right? I'm curious why it happened, but right now, Sheriel is more important. Otherwise, there's no way we could get close to you, right?"
But Julius values me only as a useful tool. I wanted to be useful, and that feeling hasn't changed.
...I wanted to be recognized for more than just being a tool. I didn't want to lose to that dream.
"I wanted to be treated properly as a person. I already know that the dream is not my future. That's why I hoped Professor would see me not just as a tool but as a person."
"So, you were disappointed because your expectations were not met?"
"Because, Professor, you don't even know why I'm angry? It's like dealing with Father; he really doesn't understand."
I see... Perhaps, because I've gotten used to Sergio, who killed my family, used me as a tool, and is supposed to kill me in the future, I'm already recognizing Julius as family.
"I might need to graduate from the professor's teachings..."
"Really? Probably, Julius is the only one who can teach Sheriel magic, you know?"
"...That's the problem. Big Brother, you seem to like the professor quite a bit."
"Well, yeah. Julius is more closed off emotionally than we are. It's gradually opening up, and it's interesting. I'm curious about why that happened too."
Oh no... because it's my family...
Before I realized it, the haze that had settled in my chest had cleared. Talking to Didier helped me sort out my feelings.
"Big Brother, thank you. I'm fine now."
"When you've calmed down, make up with him, okay? Julius was quite upset, you know?"
"Is he upset because he couldn't manipulate me as he wanted?"
"Well, that might be part of it."
Didier laughs with a cheerful demeanor.
I went about it the wrong way. Even if I throw emotions at them like a child crying out, humans like Sergio and Julius won't understand me. Finally, my mind started working as usual, and I began to ponder how to handle this.