Ch. 27 - I'm Just Too Comprehensive!
I Only Care About Making Money And Not Love. I'm The Best Professional Simp!This chapter is broken. Please report this on discord.
This chapter is broken. Please report this on discord.
Confused.
The party involved is currently very confused.
Watching Lu Xing who was furiously writing down clauses, Xia Yeshuang's head was still spinning.
"Boss, please take a look at these clauses. Are you satisfied?"
"If you agree to all of them, I'll print them out for you to sign, two copies."
Lu Xing handed a contract to Xia Yeshuang, his movements so practiced they seemed to have been repeated a thousand times.
Xia Yeshuang asked with confusion.
"Are you a whore?"
A normal person hearing that would have flushed red with anger, blown up, and had their defenses completely broken.
But not only was Lu Xing not angry, he even looked at this little golden potato with an incredibly gentle gaze and explained caringly.
(TL: "Golden potato" is a cute, slightly funny nickname for her.)
"It's similar to a nanny or a servant, just providing emotional services to the client."
Xia Yeshuang unnaturally lowered her head.
Lu Xing's gaze was too affectionate, completely different from the lazy and perfunctory look from before!
Heh.
Changing faces so quickly! Arrogant before, respectful after. The thought of it is laughable!
After thinking for a moment, Xia Yeshuang asked again.
"Is Wei Qingyu also your client?"
Lu Xing shook his head. "She's not."
Her old man signed the contract.
Xia Yeshuang snorted, extremely dissatisfied.
So simping for Wei Qingyu was from the heart, but simping for me requires the restraint of a contract?
So annoying!
In what way am I worse than Wei Qingyu!
With a sense of indignation, Xia Yeshuang asked a question before signing.
"Between me and Wei Qingyu, who is prettier?"
Lu Xing didn't speak.
He couldn't choose. The two of them each had their own unique characteristics. Which is more delicious, hot pot or barbecue?
Xia Yeshuang thought he was unwilling to say her name, and her defenses instantly broke.
"I'm not as pretty as Wei Qingyu? Heh, fine. Actually, I don't really care what you think. It's hilarious. Why should I care who you think is prettier? You're pretty average yourself. Hahaha, so funny, you're really putting on an act."
This smooth little combo of hers directly made Lu Xing laugh.
Xia Yeshuang's signature nearly poked a hole through the table. She said through gritted teeth.
"You'd better abide by the contents of the agreement!"
After signing, Lu Xing put his copy of the agreement in his pocket and looked at Xia Yeshuang seriously, praising her.
"You are very pretty. Your blonde hair looks great, your eyes are beautiful, you're very fair, and your legs are very long."
Xia Yeshuang gave him an angry glare. This praise was worse than no praise at all.
"So, is the agreement effective now?"
Lu Xing nodded.
When serving a client, the client is heaven. Of course, he had to say things that would make the client happy.
Although she had received praise, Xia Yeshuang still felt a tightness in her chest.
Just now, Lu Xing seemed not to care about anyone, but now he was acting as if she were the most important person in the world.
So ridiculous!
Xia Yeshuang inexplicably got angry.
"For this little bit of money, you're selling yourself out like this. Don't you feel cheap?"
Lu Xing smiled.
"Then can you raise the monthly remuneration of one hundred and fifty thousand to two hundred thousand?"
He needed to earn enough money for his university expenses.
If possible, he'd like to have extra money to open a shop, have a small plot of land, a cup of hot tea, a hundred million in savings, and then live a simple and plain life.
Xia Yeshuang snorted.
"I'm rich, not sick!"
Why spend two hundred thousand on something that can be solved with one hundred and fifty thousand?!
Lu Xing nodded, sighing inwardly.
It seems this client's brain is quite normal, and she doesn't have any bad habits.
So good!
Before they left, they were classmates. After they left, they suddenly had an employer-employee relationship.
This made Xia Yeshuang a little flustered.
Some of the people in her rich circle also kept some "little pets".
But she had never kept one before!
Xia Yeshuang didn't want Lu Xing to think she was inexperienced, so she lifted her chin and said bossily.
"From now on, you'll follow me to the piano room every day at noon to serve me. Do you hear me?"
"Wait a moment."
Lu Xing took out his small notebook and quickly wrote on a new page.
【Xia Yeshuang, Female, 18 years old, Vocal Music Student, Tsundere and irritable, easily placated】
"Let me just jot this down. You can speak now."
As a professional simp, remembering the client's needs is an essential professional quality.
Xia Yeshuang was stunned.
This one hundred and fifty thousand was just the tip of the iceberg of her allowance, and it could actually make Lu Xing go to such lengths?
"What did you use to bring Wei Qingyu in the morning?"
"The breakfast I made, simple congee and side dishes. Nothing special."
"I don't care! Starting tomorrow, I want to eat it too!"
"Received."
"As long as I'm at school, when I call you, you must come!"
"Received."
"Your grades seem to be okay, right? Then when I'm free, you'll tutor me."
"Received."
No matter what request Xia Yeshuang made, Lu Xing agreed without hesitation.
This straightforwardness, however, made Xia Yeshuang inexplicably stuffy. She scolded angrily.
"You agree to everything. Don't you have a temper!"
Lu Xing closed his small notebook and answered seriously.
"I get paid to do a job. This is what I should do."
He was already very lucky to have found a job like being a professional simp.
At least he didn't have to kowtow and pray to all the gods and buddhas in the hospital because he had no money to save his grandpa.
Xia Yeshuang got even angrier. She grabbed Lu Xing by the collar and asked.
"You're not even angry about this?!"
Lu Xing smiled, thinking that this little Goldieed girl, baring her teeth and claws, actually had no attack power at all.
She was just trying to scare him. Song Junzhu actually used a real whip.
The difference between the two was too great.
"Your hair is messy."
Lu Xing carefully smoothed out Xia Yeshuang's messy hair and patted his hands with satisfaction.
"You look very nice."
Xia Yeshuang abruptly let go of Lu Xing's collar, a thin layer of pink appearing on her pretty cheeks.
"Next time, without my permission, you are not allowed to touch me!"
"Okay."
Xia Yeshuang composed the tingling feeling in her heart, turned her head to stare at Lu Xing, and asked.
"Don't you have any bottom lines?"
She didn't believe there was anyone in this world who had no temper at all!
Lu Xing thought for a long time and finally found one of his pitifully few bottom lines.
"Don't hit my face."
Swish!
Xia Yeshuang abruptly raised her head and asked back in disbelief.
"So it's okay to hit other places? Has someone hit your face before? Are all your clients that perverted?"
Lu Xing just smiled.
"Rarely. It's not as exaggerated as you think."
Rarely...
Doesn't that mean it has happened?
Xia Yeshuang's heart trembled violently as she looked at Lu Xing's face in disbelief.
We're all the same youthful age. Why is Lu Xing living this kind of life?
The first rule of being a professional simp—you can't fall in love with the client, and more importantly, you can't let the client fall in love with you.
The former will destroy yourself, the latter will make it difficult to get away from the client.
And so.
Lu Xing smiled at Xia Yeshuang and said leisurely.
"Hehe, just kidding! With a face as handsome as mine, of course, every client is crazy about me!"
Swish!
The bit of sympathy that had just risen in Xia Yeshuang vanished in an instant. She glared at Lu Xing angrily.
"Who would sympathize with you!"
Lu Xing nodded and said.
"That's right. If you sympathized with me, you'd be in trouble."
"Sympathizing with a man is the beginning of misfortune. After you sympathize with me, you'll fall for me. If you fall for me, I'll cheat you of your money and your heart, get you pregnant before marriage, and force you to marry me."
"Then I'll be a phoenix man, enter your family's business, secretly do some shady things and take everything, making your family's business take my surname. Finally, I'll be rich and powerful, keep ten mistresses, and kick you out of the house! Leaving you homeless on the streets!"
(TL: "Phoenix man" or 凤凰男 (fènghuángnán) is a derogatory term for a man from a poor, rural background who marries a wealthier city woman with the intention of using her family's resources to support his own.)
Pfft.
Xia Yeshuang couldn't hold it in and burst out laughing. She laughed so hard she was shaking.
She poked Lu Xing's face, which he was deliberately keeping stern and scary.
"I would never fall for you!"
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