The Adventure of a Boy with the Mind of a Middle-aged Man

The Adventure of a Boy with the Mind of a Middle-Aged Chapter 5

Translator/Editor: TastefulSardine


I ascended the stairs to find everyone’s eyes on me.

“Hey, who’s on basement lookout today!? The kids are up and escaping!” someone complained.

Lookout huh. So they knew full well what they were doing in the basement.

“Hey, I don’t recognize you. Were you the ones who set them free?”

“They don’t even recognize me. Laguna isn’t living up to its name,” I thought.

A large, bearded man with an overpowering aura began to approach us. Kurama narrowed his eyes and cracked his knuckles in response before reaching out—.

“Don’t do anything unnecessary, Kurama. They’re my prey.”

Yes. They’ve awoken my unsightly emotions. I couldn’t forgive them, no matter who they were. I wouldn’t leave even a shred of their souls, let alone their bodies, behind after I destroyed them.

“My apologies.”

Kurama gave an elegant bow and took a step back.

“Now then. Does anywhere here object to the tragedy in the basement?”

This was my final act of mercy. I’d painlessly kill anyone who felt even the slightest shred of guilt.

After a moment of silence, a vulgar laughter enveloped the room.

I see. This was reassuring, in a way. Now I can destroy this insanity without reserve.

“Are ya hearing this kid? Rights for mere livestock? Oh I’m mister pitiable livestock. Somebody help me!” someone mocked.

“Actually, ain’t she a good woman?” asked the man with an overbite as he leered at and approached Aria with a bottle of alcohol in hand.

“Ain’t that right. We’ll send ya back where ya came from.”

The bearded man and the man with an overbite cackled with laughter as they surrounded Aria. Then, the man with an overbite reached out.

“Don’t touch me, trash!” she lashed back in anger, punching the man head-on, who then flew back and fainted.

I would have never imagined that that novice woman’s punch could make him lose consciousness, not even in my wildest dreams.


The bearded man raised his arm as a vein bulged on his head.

“Good grief,” I interjected.

I grabbed his hand mid-swing and swept at his feet before slamming his back.


The speechless soldiers stiffened as they stared at the unconscious man who was foaming at the mouth.

“I’ll do that kid in,” said a voice that came from the far side of the round table further inside.

The voice belonged to a burly, bandit-like man, who stood up from his seat and grabbed the mace leaning on the wall.

“Are you fine with that, Yuurin?” he asked the tired-looking, scrawny man in robes behind him.

“Yeah. But don’t mess around too much, Balm.”

“But of course.”

A hideous smile crept up onto Balm’s face as he pushed his way past the soldiers and walked up to me.

“How pitiful. You’ve only just met the boss, and yet you livestock are already going to die a painful death.”

“You say that, but aren’t you quite happy?” I shot back, after which Balm’s face dyed in ecstasy.

“So ya understand? I mean, I just love the screams of women and children. When I straddle them and then just wail at them, ya know, or when they desperately plead for forgiveness. They’re all like, ‘I’m sorry, forgive me, please.’ That sense of subjugation is like nothing else, ya know,” Balm explained with a face of ecstasy. I kicked myself for even thinking of granting him mercy before.

“Geez. You small fry sure can talk.”

I was getting tired of talking with this maggot. Let’s hurry up and finish this.

“Me……a small fry?”

“That’s right. I called you a small fry. Even a goblin would be stronger than someone like you.”

That wasn’t a metaphor, but rather the truth. Those goblins were on an entirely different level in terms of shittiness, but at least they knew their battle skills weren’t completely rotten.

“You fucking brat!!”

And as expected, the single-celled organism known as Balm shouted in indignation with a beet-red face and swung his mace down onto my head.

The mace kicked up a storm as it came down. I easily dodged the turtle-like cursed mace and dashed forward, drawing my dagger from my waist and slicing through his right arm.


He knit his eyebrows from the pain of his broken hand and kneeled down.

“Do you really have the time to be wallowing in pain?” I asked before casually raining down plows onto his body.

—I crushed his ribcage and beat up his organs.


—I ground his femur and upper arm bones to dust.


—Then, I crushed his ears and nose and smashed his jaw.

I calmly ignored his pleas for mercy and continued pummeling.


I gave Balm, who had finally lost the ability to speak, a final kick. A plosive sound accompanied the sound of bones crushing as he shot up and crashed into the ceiling.

The building trembled a little before the now unconscious Balm fell plummeted down.


The Feces Family’s soldiers stared at Balm, who was spasming like a fish on the beach.

“So? Who’s next?”

Some soldiers groaned and unsheathed their swords while trembling, while others screeched like pigs and dashed out of the estate.

“Idiots…….” I mumbled as a ball of flame passed in front of me and collided with he soldiers by the door.

“Betrayal means death. Have you forgotten the Feces code?”

The Feces code……you killed your own colleagues for that useless piece of shit code. I can’t hate these people enough.

“So are you going to fight me in place of that piece of trash?” I asked, looking at the still twitching and unconscious Balm.

Yuurin laughed scornfully, raised his right hand, and let forth another ball of flame. The ball headed towards the unconscious Balm, who quickly burst into flames.

“We don’t need the weak.”

“The weak, you say……”

You’re not much different in terms of strength.

Certainly, he could cast【Fireball】without chanting, and his magic stat wasn’t half bad at E-. I heard that being able to cast 【Fireball】without chanting meant you were on the level of an imperial mage, so he must’ve been quite the figure in the mafia world.

But that was all. He didn’t have the wild battle skills that Caesar had, and E- wasn’t anything impressive. He was a nobody; someone I didn’t even have to put my guard up around. In fact, it’s impressive that he can unabashedly term others as weak.

“Boy, I recognize your physical prowess. You have the qualifications to join our family. I’ll put in a good word for you.”

What an idiotic statement.

“And if I refuse?”

“Then you die.”

It was so comical I couldn’t even muster up a laugh.

“I need to correct your little misunderstanding,” I said.

“Misunderstanding?” Yuurin parroted back, knitting his eyebrows.

“Yeah. The one that’s faced with two decisions isn’t me, but you.”

I casted the same 【Fireball】spell ten times and fired them at him.

However, their size, power, and speed were on an entirely different level. The oppressive fireball spun forward at a high speed, grazing Yuurin by mere millimeters before crashing into the estate and exploding.

I then took control of and extinguished the raging flames with 【Flame Rondo】.


Yuurin robotically turned to look behind him and swallowed his breath.

“Listen here. You’ve seem to be under a misunderstanding, so I’ll tell you this: you people from the underworld can only do what you want with people from that underworld. You’ve infringed on this huge unwritten law.”

If you didn’t like that, then you could dye your hands in evil or you could continue walking a proper path. Either way, the sun would surely shine its kindness down.

These people laughed at the tragedy in the basement. They’ve already stepped into the darkness. No longer can they return.

“W-who……are you?” he asked with a faint voice.

What a ridiculous question.

“This is my final request. Please, at the very least, face your death and struggle like a human.”

“Don’t fuck with me!” he roared and began chanting.

His chant sounded like he was about to cast the high rank spell, 【Flame Rondo】. Well, there were a lot unnecessary words in his chant, however.

The high rank spell, 【Flame Rondo】, gave control over all flames within a certain distance. There was a limit on hoe much magic you could infuse the spell with, and the distance was also limited, so it was the weakest high-rank spell, although it was remarkably easy to control in comparison. Once you got used to it, you could burn weak monsters and obtain precious yakiniku. Basically, when you included the convenience, it was a more daily use sort of spell.

And to think that, of all spells, he would use the one most unsuited for battle. The chantless 【Fireball】spell made much more sense.

“Dance, flames!”

After his long chant ended, a wall of flames flickered in front of Yuurin. It was a weak flame, but it was strong enough to at least burn everyone in this room, which would happen if he didn’t control 【Flame Rondo】and instead set it off on a rampage. The spell specialized in its ease of control, so you normally wouldn’t do that.  What a novel idea.

“Hm, it’s at least interesting.”

“There’s no point in pleading now! My flames will burn everything to a crisp!!”

In excitement, he sent a death stare at me with bloodshot eyes.

In comparison, the surviving soldiers scrambled for the exit, desperate to dodge this upcoming attack.

Of course, 【Wind Manipulation】had the door blockaded with a wind wall.

“I-It won’t open!!?” shouted one soldier.

“Move!” said another as he shoved the first out of the way. Then, he slammed his longsword into the door, but it just bounced off without leaving a single scratch.

“Diee! 【Flame Rondo】!!”

The wall of flame flickered before rushing towards me, burning the wooden floor in the process.

I pointed my finger at the wall and used the same 【Flame Rondo】to condense the wall of flames.

“Huh?” Yuurin squeaked, and the other soldiers stared at my finger with their mouths agape.

“Is that all?”

“I-impossible. 【Flame Rondo】is a high-rank spell! Not even the imperial mages are guaranteed to be able to use it!!”

“【Flame Rondo】is a good spell with high versatility. However, that’s merely within the confines of daily use,” I explained.

“Daily……use?” he sputtered in a daze as he turned paler than a ghost.

Now then. It’s about time to end this farce.

“This is thanks for showing me something interesting. I’ll show you magic meant for actual battle.”

I snapped my fingers and the room immediately dyed red. Then, in an instant, a strange phenomenon befell the room.

A black haze rose up from the floor, the ceiling, the walls, the table, and even the chairs. Then, small organisms began creeping out.

Yuurin let out a shriek.

Spiders and praying mantises grouped up, covering the floor and the walls, and bees leisurely flew about in the air.


Shrieked a soldier as the rest all retreated to the center of the room and began trembling.

The super rank spell, Gu, calls forth spiders within a certain area that you can control.

However, the bugs’ strength relies on the caster’s magic, so each and every bug has an average of D- stats.

I had Judo attempt this spell, but his bugs’ stats were merely around G+. In short, when I use this spell, I can bring about the worst-case scenario.

Aria looked over her shoulder and, as expected, quickly paled as the bugs slowly encroached on her.

“Aria, I’ll send you back to Satella and the others,” I said.

However, although a thick layer of fear of the surrounding bugs dwelled in her eyes, an incomparably pronounced violent hatred reigned supreme.

“No. They did all those horrible things to our beloved citizens. I’ll watch until the end!” she replied.

Idiot. It’s not something an immature child like you should see. I won’t budge on this.

“Kurama, you got it?”

“Yes. I seemed to have misjudged you a little. Besides, this is already more than enough.”

“Stop it! Who do you think—” Aria yelled before disappearing the moment Kurama easily overpowered her.

“Now then. The interruptions are over.”

I gazed at Yuurin, who let out an unseemly shriek. The soldiers, aware of the fate that was soon to come, collectively cried out in fear.

“At least regret the crimes you’ve committed before dying.”


“Bugs, eat to your hearts content,” I said, calmly ignoring Yuurin’s cries.

In an instant, the bugs surged forth, swarmed over the men, and began chewing them down to the bone.

Soon, the room turned into pandemonium.

The bugs didn’t leave a single drop of blood behind. That’s what I had ordered. That said, this was certainly outside of my expectations.

Three giant bung monsters kneeled before me.

After devouring Yuurin and the soldiers, they fused together to form three giant monsters. One was in the shape of a praying mantis, the next a spider, and the last a bee.

Moreover, the praying mantis’s stats averaged C, the spider C+, and the bee B-.

That’s just too strong. There’s no way this is just a super rank spell.

Before I had only called the bugs forth but didn’t have them feed on anything. To think they would react……Well I can leave the inspection for later. I had the bugs stay on standby, so they split apart into tiny bugs and disappeared.

“It’s over. Can you stand?” I said.

I reached out to Kurama, who was kneeling before me with a waterfall of sweat streaming down his face. He shakily stood up and said, “No need. Let’s keep going.”

“Yeah, let’s,” I replied, and we headed towards the so-called boss located on the second floor.


TLDR; it’s a poison that is prepared by sealing several venomous creatures in a closed area and they devour each other, concentrating their toxins into a single survivor. It’s often used in black magic practices.



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  1. The best thing those guys could have done is kill themselves before he got to them.

    Gu is an awesome …. um, entities?

    (Thanks for the explanation, I now understand and appreciate a lot more one of my favorite anime, Jungle Gu.)

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