The Adventure of a Boy with the Mind of a Middle-aged Man

The Adventure of a Boy with the Mind of a Middle-aged Man Chapter 12

Translator: TastefulSardine

Editor: SmugCrusader

The Sudden Goblin Raid

My consciousness slowly drifted in darkness. It was a chilly, albeit nostalgic, place.

A quiet noise droned on where not even a single ray of light shined. Gradually, the noise got louder and louder.

As I was shaken awake, I lifted my heavy eyelids to an ear-shatteringly loud roar.

There, Satella sat in distress, repeatedly shaking her head while trying to wake me up.

“What’s all this noise?” I grimaced.

“Just earlier, the goblins attacked again,” she explained.

This is not a good time for them to have come; it probably doesn’t get more chaotic than this.

Sebastian, who had F+ stats across the board, could probably repel the goblins without breaking a sweat, so the fact that this tumultuous situation still remained only meant one thing.

“Sebastian isn’t here, right?” 

Satella nodded. “Yes. He arrested those bad people.” 

She probably means the committee of elders. What terrible timing. At this rate, lunatics blabbering about the mountain gods’ wrath would keep appearing.

I gently patted her head as I stood up, but noticed that she was completely pale and trembling all over.

I see. I’ve been out so I couldn’t tell until now, but monsters are probably terrifying to a young child. It’s no wonder she’s shaking so much.

“We’ll be alright Satella. Close your eyes for a bit.”

At the sight of Satella earnestly squeezing her eyes shut, I patted her head and teleported her to my room in the inn.

Now, since I went out of my way to heal everybody, I couldn’t bear the thought of casualties springing up again.

I did some stretches, but this body is extremely light. My head cleared up, and my body seems to be in perfect shape, so it’s time to hunt.

After leaving the village chief’s residence, I found myself in front of all the villagers. 

They seem extremely scared– everyone was curled up like a field mouse, cowering with pale faces.  

“You’ve awoken, Saint-sama!” the village chief jubilantly shouted. At his sentence, all the villagers placed their gazes on me.

Jeez, what are you doing, relying on a child despite being pushed so far into a corner. Instead of trembling in your boots maybe try actually doing something useful like setting up a barricade.

“Where are the goblins?” I asked.

“They’re at the village gate. There are dozens of them–almost an army,” one villager said.

I started up Analyze Environment and began to look around my surroundings, where I found several goblins surrounding the village. There were about……not tens, but over a hundred of them. Your run-of-the-mill goblins had stats averaging G+, and there didn’t seem to be any among them who could use magic. They weren’t that strong, but there were a lot, and mixed in were Goblin Leaders with stats averaging F.

Judo and his gang were certainly strong, but they stood no chance against an army of over a hundred goblins. In fact, a few had already slipped through into the village.

This is a race against time. Even if I began exterminating them this instant, many would slip by, so they’ll have to stand on their own for a while.

“All the men need to gather any nearby furniture and bring it here,” I commanded. “The women should bring bows and spears.”

Once any goblins crossed the barricaded, we’d shoot them down, and the normal goblins would probably die if you shot them.

“B-but we don’t have any experience or—” the village chief protested weakly.

“If you want to live, stop grumbling and just do it!!” I yelled to his idiotic statement before sprinting to the village gate.

Once I ran through the main street in the center of the village, I saw a force of goblins encircling around from far away.

Despite being small monsters, they made up quite the army as there were over a hundred of them. The young men were desperately fighting against the goblins as each sustained countless wounds. I applaud their bravery, but I wasn’t so foolish as to challenge such a large army without any plans. There were more appropriate countermeasures against an enemy so simple-minded.

Finally, Judo fell to his knees as blood streamed down his face, and countless goblins surrounded him.

Now, they had entered my firing range, so I faced the palm of my hand at them and released a 【Whirlwind】.

A goblin let out a yelp mid-swing as its arm was severed, falling to the ground.

The goblins just gazed dumbfoundedly at his arm which was now spewing out blood like a water fountain before fissions began to appear on his body. Then, circles began rippling through those very fissions. The whirlwind diced the seven goblins who had formed a group here into pieces that scattered onto the ground.

Witnessing this disaster, the other goblins turned tail and fled. After I reached Judo, I glared at the retreating goblins before scolding, “You idiots! What are you doing, forming a rank to face a large army of goblins!”

“S-sorry, boss. I-I……” Judo said as despair flickered through his eyes which unsettled me.

“Carla was just captured by them!” a female friend of Judo cried as she gave me the worst news possible.

So the goblins came intending to capture women. Whether it was to steal food or to breed, it was always to satisfy some based desire. If I didn’t hurry up and save her it’d be too late.

“I’ll bring Carla back. You guys need to return to the village chief’s house for now and create some obstacles to shoot behind.”

“With a bow? But if they broke past then……”

“If they seem like they’re going to break past the obstacles then use a pike. And if they do break past, fight like there’s no tomorrow. You guys have no other option if you want to live,” I bluntly said. 

If they used fire arrows when we’re holing up like this we’d be over in an instant. But as far as I could see, none of the goblins were using fire arrows or any fire magic in particular. Furthermore, the goblins’ child-like stature meant that the barricade would be quite effective and scaling over would require a lot of effort. So, if you aimed through the gaps at any scaling over with a pike, while victory wasn’t certain, you could certainly avoid defeat.

Well, that wasn’t true if any irregulars appeared, but if we’re talking in hypotheticals the list never ends.

Judo hung his head and bit his lower lip, before looking up and shouting, “Boss, I’ll leave Carla to you! Everyone else, we’re going to meet up with the village chief!”

At his words everyone began dashing back to the village chief’s house.

Now I can spread my wings and do as I want. I don’t have much time, so let’s just kill them.

A goblin yelled out a war-cry as a group of around ten of them surrounded me, keeping their distance. From their bent backs, I could tell that they at least had some ability to sense danger.


“It’s useless,” I said, before chanting【Fire Pillar】.

The moment I said those words, a several-meter-long flame pillar crashed into the three goblins in front of me from above.  The smell of burnt flesh wafted through the air and the sound of evaporation crackled as dust slowly scattered to the floor.

Next, I left forth a【Fireball】.

A crimson flame around a meter long spiraled straight at the goblins and evaporated their bodies in an instant. 

The goblins surrounding me shrieked in fright as they immediately began to retreat.

A large sword was swung down onto the fleeing goblin vanguard, beautifully dissecting him into two pieces. 

“DON’T YOU DARE RUN! OR I’LL KILL YOU!” a monster shouted. 

It was a giant monster that easily surpassed two meters in height—a rare monster known as a Goblin Leader.

The Goblin Leader pointed his sword at me before the goblins that were just running away turned around and reluctantly followed suit.

“Woah, so you understand human language?” I mused. How convenient.

“HUMAN, YOU ARE OUT OF LUCK. MAGIC, NO WORK ON ME,” the Goblin Leader triumphantly declared.

“Then let me try it out.”

I set the alignment of【Fire Pillar】to the Goblin Leader’s right arm. 

His Magical Endurance is F+, so certainly I might have been at a slight disadvantage before. 


Without waiting for him to finish, I let out a 【Fire Pillar】.

In an instant, the fire pillar blackened its entire arm.

It let out a scream. “M-MY ARM!!?”

Without pause, it sank to the ground, writhing in agony. 

From what I could tell, he was a leader-class among the goblins. Let’s make him guide me to their nest.


“Hm, I don’t need anyone else. I’ll cull everyone,” I muttered.

They must have understood my words, as, with a yelp, the goblins scattered in all directions in an attempt to escape from me. 

I locked on every fleeing goblin with Analyze Environment and let forth a 【Whirlwind】.

A sharp cutting sound resounded through the air. Several lines ran through the over a hundred goblins as they were dissected into bits and pieces which fell to the floor.

“……” With bated breath, the Goblin Leader, who was still on its knees, stared absentmindedly at the remains of the goblins. Its entire body was trembling.

I slowly approached it and whispered into its ear, “Now, you big brute. Let’s play a game. I’ll count to 30, and until then I won’t chase after you. Try your best to escape from me.”

 “GIGAA!!” it let out a strange shriek. 

Already having stopped speaking in human language, the Goblin Leader blew off the few remaining goblins and escaped full speed into the forest.

I fully activated Analyze Environment, locked onto the Goblin Leader who was frantically running for its life, and chased after it.



  1. I mean whoa! Killing 100+ goblins seemed like it was no big deal! So the barricade was probably for the sneaky ones then.
    Thanks for the chapter!

    1. I think the barricade was more for the villagers to help protect their own village.
      Thanks for your comments! I appreciate them

    2. I who believed that there were 3000 people in this village, they should have at least 500 adult men between 20 and 40 years old.
      and they should have enough house to make a barricade thanks to the houses and palisades between
      for a region and especially a village used to attacks they are not well prepared.
      moreover, what does the lord do? he collects taxes but there is no defense, what are the taxes for then?

      The problem is definitely not the lord, it’s the author, it lacks realism and it’s a shame because it’s mistakes easy to avoid

      1. Why spend money on a wall when you can just spend it on yourself? At least that’s the common bad ruler trope.
        I agree that they should have had enough to defend themselves at first, but any injured basically were left to die by the elders which really puts a hamper on the village’s ability to defend itself long term.
        But yeah the author tends to leave stuff for the reader to rationalize which is a sign of bad writing.

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